Redemption
by TheCaneOfBates
Summary: 'Another' Modern A/U: Moving to the north of England to put his past behind him, will Anna Smith prove to be John Bates's salvation?
1. Chapter 1

**A/N- Here we go, another modern fiction offering from myself. I had wanted to go back to actual Downton time with my new story but with the ambiguity over what happens between Banna in the CS, I find it hard to write that at the moment. I do, for the record, believe in Mr Bates.**

**I like to add something different to my modern fictions, the 'twist' in this one had been started before by another author before they deleted their story. I have checked with them that it was okay to proceed with my story and they have agreed. Thanks to them. **

**Although I like to include some comedy (I use that term loosely) in my fictions, this one may be slightly more angsty in places. I have included a lot of other characters, I hope I don't live to regret that. I also seem to confuse Ethel and Gwen. I don't know why. I think I have rectified it, if not I apologise. **

**This first chapter is sort of an intro to the story, lots of description into Anna and John's background. I am not well versed in religion or anything like that. Although I believe to a certain degree, I am not a church goer by any means. For those of you who are, please correct me if I am wrong at any point during the story. **

**Also, I really do love receiving follows and reviews. I do read every one, it brightens many a lunch hour to read what people have said about my work. So please do leave me your comments, good or bad. I appreciate them all. **

**Here we go... sorry for the lame title.**

**Disclaimer:** _Downton Abbey belongs to Julian Fellowes/ITV and Carnival and sadly, not me. _

* * *

'Thank you, Robert,' Margaret Patmore said once more as she walked out of the front doors of Downton Place for the final time as head chef. 'My past twenty years here have been nothing short of wonderful.'

'Please Maggie,' Robert Crawley replied, placing his hand on her shoulder and looking at her with gratitude in his eyes. 'We could have never got this place off the ground without you. You have left us with a legacy which is going to live on long into the future. I just hope your replacement is equal to the challenge. Don't be a stranger.'

With a final embrace, Margaret joined her husband in the car and disappeared into the distance. Puffing out his chest, Robert turned on his heels and took in the sight of his restaurant. Despite owning Downton Place for two decades, the pride that rushed through him every time he walked into the building had never seemed to wane. Opening it with the assistance of his wife, Cora, as a small bakery, the success that they had experienced meant within a year they decided to expand their business. Now, not only was Downton Place, situated in Ripon, one of the most popular restaurants in North Yorkshire, Robert and his wife also owned a chain of bakeries throughout the north of England.

Times were changing, however. When Margaret had decided the time was right for her to retire, Robert had been at a loss as to who to replace such a wonderful chef with. Robert himself was the obvious choice, having trained to be a chef in London before moving up north. After discussions with his wife, it was decided that idea simply wouldn't work. Devoting his time solely to the restaurant would mean his input on the Downton bakeries would suffer. The kitchen workers he had were hard working people, yet none of them were ready, in Robert's opinion, to step up to the role of head chef. No, he needed someone else to come in and take over the reigns, and he knew just the man.

Stepping back inside, he smiled as he saw his head waitress, Anna Smith, busy wiping tables, humming to herself. She was a wonderful young woman, a loyal member of his staff with a mature head for someone of her age. Walking further into the restaurant, Robert rolled his eyes as his youngest daughter and waitress, Sybil was leant on the bar, chatting intently to the bar manager, Tom Branson. He knew something was going on between them, although for his sanity he pretended to ignore it. Robert also made a mental note to question Sybil on the suitability of her five inch heels whilst working in the restaurant.

Owning his own business had meant Robert could give all his daughters a taste of what the real world was like from an early age. As soon as they were old enough, he had them working the odd shift in the restaurant, or at one of the bakeries. His eldest daughter, Mary had taken to her task like a duck to water, her leadership qualities meaning she had climbed to the role of general manager of Downton Place. Edith, Robert and Cora's second born, had a head for figures, so after gaining a degree in mathematics was put in charge of the companies finances. Sybil, on the other hand, had visions of a life for herself beyond her parents business. Her dreams far outweighed those of a lowly waitress, however they also outweighed her bank balance. Working all the shifts she could, her plan was to save enough by the time she was twenty one to go travelling. Now nineteen, her partying lifestyle didn't help her cause, nor her insistence on owning all the latest designer clothes.

'Robert, I sent Gwen home,' Anna said as she noticed him walking closer. 'She's been nursing a headache all evening but wanted to stay for Maggie's last shift.'

'That's fine, Anna,' Robert smiled, stopping beside her before chancing another glance over at his daughter and the barman. 'Have they been chatting long?'

Anna looked in the direction Robert was indicating, grinning slightly before looking up at him as he winced. 'A little while. They get on great.'

'Yeah,' Robert sighed, rubbing his forehead. 'I had noticed. Is Mary still about?'

'I think so, she was arguing with Edith about ideas for next months themed night. It got quite heated so they went through to the back. That was half an hour ago, mind.'

Robert exhaled deeply. 'Right. Honestly Anna, take it from me. Don't ever have daughters. Finish up wiping the tables then make your way home, I'd like you all here early tomorrow to meet the new head chef.'

'I don't see why Mr Crawley couldn't have promoted from within, that's all.'

'Really Thomas, please explain whatever you mean?'

Thomas Barrow nearly jumped out of his skin, turning around to see Robert standing next to Anna, hands on his hips. He was followed out of the kitchen by Alfred Nugent and Daisy Robinson, his fellow assistant chefs who were all finished for the evening.

'Oh, hello Robert,' Thomas stammered, Alfred and Daisy finding his awkwardness rather amusing as they both stifled their laughter. 'Thought you had gone home.'

'Obviously,' Robert rolled his eyes before walking in the direction of the staff quarters. 'I'm off to stop my daughters from ripping each other's hair out. See you all tomorrow.'

Anna stood up straight, smiling smugly at Thomas as he rushed past her, to save his embarrassment more than anything. As soon as he was out of the door, Alfred and Daisy released the laughter they had been holding in, Anna following suit.

'I'm surprised he fit through the door, with a head as big as his.' Alfred said through a smile. 'Talking of big heads, I'm also surprised Jimmy didn't make the effort to say goodbye to Maggie. Or Ethel.'

'Really?' Anna furrowed her brow. 'Jimmy is just as bad as Thomas. You all know he's only working as a waiter here to fund himself through drama school.'

'Yeah, and to try and get into Gwen's pants,' Sybil commented, joining in with the conversation.

'Sybil,' Anna exclaimed, the young waitresses candour leaving her slightly aghast.

'Come on, Anna. We've all seen it...'

'Yes, just like we've all seen you flirting with Tom over there, but none of us make snide remarks about that, do we?' Anna moved on to the next table as she spoke, spraying it with the anti bacterial spray. As she began to wipe, she continued to speak. 'Just because you're the bosses daughter doesn't mean I won't put you in charge of the table we have booked tomorrow night for fifteen people, if you don't stop making such comments.'

'You're so strict,' Sybil moaned as Anna's face broke into a smile.

'She needs to be with a waitress like you,' Alfred said with a wink. 'Come on, Daisy. I'll walk you home.'

'I'm just winding you up, Sybil' Anna laughed. 'See you tomorrow Alfie.'

'I'll text you later, Anna,' Daisy announced as she began to follow Alfred. She stopped to look at Anna before slyly pointing in Alfred's direction. 'There have been some developments.'

'You go, girl,' Sybil whispered, placing a hand on Daisy's arm.

'I shall be eagerly await your text message,' Anna said with a nod of the head before watching Daisy walk away. Looking to Sybil, she took hold of another cloth and threw it in her direction. 'Right Miss Crawley, tables thirty to forty two need cleaning. The quicker we do that, the quicker we can go home.'

* * *

Anna unlocked her front door, taking care to shut it quietly behind her. It was gone midnight by the time she arrived home from working the late shift. As she turned to walk up the stairs, she noticed light emanating from the living room. Curiosity got the better of her as she opened the door, looking over to the corner to see her father, Richard, slumped over his desk, snoring away as his laptop sat open beside him. Smiling, she treaded the floor towards him gently before tapping him on the shoulder.

'What... what is it?' He sat bolt upright, his glasses which were balanced precariously on the end of his nose falling to the desk in front of him with a light thud. 'Oh, Anna. Hello Pickle.'

'Dad, it's gone midnight,' Anna said softly, closing his laptop.

'Is it? I must have fallen asleep writing this weeks sermon.' her Dad replied, rubbing his eyes with his hands. 'My new year teachings have to be riveting to keep the flock coming back. Especially with the crowds usually dwindling by February, you know, once people have broken their new years resolution to come to church more.'

Anna laughed at her father's statement. 'I find your sermons highly entertaining.'

'Yes, but you have to say that. You're my daughter.' Once he had risen to his feet, Anna's Dad took her hand. 'How was work?'

'Sad actually. It was Maggie's last shift tonight.'

'Oh yeah, I remember you mentioning that.' Richard replied, making his way to the living room door. As he reached it, he turned to look at Anna. 'The new guy starts tomorrow, does he?'

'Yes, he trained with Robert in London.'

'Ahh, well he will be in my prayers tonight,' Richard added before stepping into the hallway.

'Why may I ask?'

'Working for Mary Crawley. I've only met her on a few occasions, but she certainly seems she could try the patience of a saint. Goodnight Pickle.'

With those words, Anna chuckled as she watched her father begin to make the ascent upstairs before she heard him enter the bedroom he shared with Anna's mother. Pondering her life as she sank onto the sofa, she felt blessed to share such a wonderful relationship with both of her parents. It made the fact she still lived with them at the age of thirty-one that bit more bearable. The truth was, Anna didn't live her life in completely the same way a lot of women her age did.

Anna felt an obligation to lead a responsible existence, she felt her heritage demanded it. She was the only child of a Church of England vicar and a nurse. Her mother, Christine, was retired now, her husbands profession meaning her duties around the parish took up a lot of her time. Anna was well known within the area her father's pastoral responsibilities covered, and she felt pressure to set a good example, particularly to keep Richard's excellent reputation in tact.

Although her father was laid back in his attitudes, more so than a man in his position usually would be, Anna respected his beliefs and followed them herself. Anna believed in God and found comfort in the scriptures, especially with someone like her father on hand to bring them to life so animatedly. He was a character, not your usual blustery vicar who you would imagine spoke about nothing but the word of God. Although his faith was strong, so was his grip on reality.

Richard knew people nowadays didn't have time to listen to him prattle on about gospels and living your life by their teaching. He had his loyal flock, and he was grateful to them, nothing made him happier than professing his love for God and passing that enthusiasm onto willing listeners. However, he also loved helping those less fortunate or had simply found their way onto the wrong path. Thankfully, his work wasn't just limited to a few church services a week. He worked within the local area, Richard's style popular amongst teenagers who wanted someone they could confide in without being dictated to. Anna had gone with him on visits to see younger members of the community, Richard believing joining him would enable Anna to learn from the experiences she heard about. Indeed, one story had struck a chord with Anna, resulting in her making a life choice as young as the age of fourteen.

On a visit to a local hospital, she listened as a badly injured young woman told Richard her story. It materialised she had been attacked by a man, that was why she was in the hospital. After her parents divorced when she turned fifteen, her father had left home and she hadn't seen him since. Her mother, who had given birth to the girl when she was a teenager herself, fell into a world of alcoholism and drugs. The young girl had on occasions, been left home alone for weeks at a time. She had offered herself to men to fund money for food and clothes. Reaching her eighteenth birthday, her mother died as a result of her substance abuse, leaving her daughter on the streets. One of the men she saw regularly offered her a roof over her head in exchange for whatever he desired. She agreed, she would have been homeless if she didn't. One night, she couldn't stand the arrangement any longer and made her escape. She didn't get far, the man caught her and here she was.

She looked Anna in the eye, telling her how lucky she was and to not make the same mistakes she had. Anna was shocked by the story, how something that was meant to be sacred between a man and woman could be used in such a way. Although her father had never enforced such beliefs upon her, she decided there and then she would save herself for the man she was to marry.

Anna's choice went beyond her religious beliefs. When she had questioned her parents on such matters, Richard had said the bible speaks out against sex before marriage, however he didn't believe it was a sustainable lifestyle nowadays. Marriage didn't hold the same power it had in the past. Her mother had advised Anna to do what was right for her and no one else. Christine hoped Anna would save herself for the man she truly loved, and Anna agreed with her. She didn't want relations with men to turn into something that meant nothing, not for her. She had too much respect for herself to allow that to happen.

So here she was, thirty-one years old and a virgin, still living with her parents. Not that she was unhappy with her life. She loved her job. Anna had lots of friends with whom she enjoyed going out with. She went clubbing, she went out drinking, she had lived a life most young people did. She had just never slept with anyone.

That wasn't to say Anna hadn't dated. Laughing to herself, she recounted her past boyfriends. She still experienced desires like young women her age did. The truth was she had never met anyone with whom she could see herself being with in that way. In her eyes, any sort of activity like that would come with marriage. She truly believed she was in for a long wait to meet the one. Not a lot of men nowadays were willing to hold on for such things. Her beliefs had often spelled the end of her relationships. Still, Anna just reasoned that those men weren't worth it. The man who was would respect her wishes, admire her for them even. She would meet him. She just needed to be patient.

She'd had enough practice.

* * *

John Bates looked at himself in the hallway mirror one last time, flicking an errant lock of her hair that hung over his right eye back into place. Taking a deep breath, he looked around his surroundings, regarding his new home for what seemed like the thousandth time. Home. This was it now. It was quite a reality shock, moving from a three bed roomed townhouse in London to a two bed roomed flat in Ripon. Still, he had needed to make this break, when the offer came up he knew he would have been a fool not to grab it with both hands.

Deciding he was ready to embark on the next step in rebuilding his life, John knew he couldn't without doing one last thing. Sinking to his knees, he began to whistle loudly. Soon, he heard the familiar sound of padding paws moving closer towards him. And then she appeared.

Roxy. A Jack Russell Terrier who, up until this point at least, had been John's salvation. As she leapt into his arms, John held her tightly. He had acquired her a few months previously, her original owner a former business associate of John's. He was moving to Australia and it was too much hassle to take Roxy with him. So John stepped in. A little under a year old, she was a happy little soul with bundles of character, great company for John as he tried to reacquaint himself with living a normal life.

'Daddy will be back later, Rox.' John said, Roxy looking up at him, her head cocked to the side. 'You've been fed, why don't you entertain yourself by continuing your ongoing romance with that ottoman we found when we moved in here?'

Placing her down on the floor with a final pat on the head, John rose to his feet and watched as Roxy ran into the kitchen. _She'll be fine_, he told himself before turning on his heel and leaving the flat.

So this was it. The first day of the rest of his life. Time to leave the past where it belonged, in the past and start again. Wincing as the January air hit his skin, John lifted his coat collar around his neck and placed his hands in his pockets, ready to make the short walk to his new place of work.

He hadn't worked a day since it had happened. Since his imprisonment. He shuddered at the memory of being locked up, taking the blame for a crime he didn't commit such was his guilt. His ex wife, Vera, had stolen some money from his workplace, and had been doing so for some time without his realising. He was a chef at a fancy establishment in London's West End. Vera would meet him from work occasionally, John thought nothing of it as he asked her to wait in the back room for him to finish his shift. It came to the attentions of his bosses that money was missing, totalling nearly five thousand pounds. How she had managed it, John didn't know to this day.

Vera admitted in an alcohol fuelled argument that she was the culprit. Alcohol. If John was honest, it had been his mistress ever since he and Vera had married as young twenty something's in Dublin. After training to be a chef in London, John's father fell ill meaning he moved back home to his native Ireland to help his mother in caring for him. Once back there, his father died soon afterwards. Too heartbroken to stay in his childhood home, John's mother requested they sell up and she move back with him to London. But not before John had met Vera.

The relationship they shared was electric. She wasn't stunningly beautiful, yet she possessed something John couldn't get enough of. It became a case of he didn't want anyone else to have her, rather than being in love with her. They married before moving back to London as newlyweds. John's mother bought herself a comfortable little home, leaving enough money for John and Vera to make their own home nearby.

However, the marriage had been doomed from the get go. Vera loved the bright lights of London, nights out in the West End as John worked long hours in his job as an assistant chef, trying to forge a career in the culinary industry. A few months into the marriage he found out about Vera's misdemeanours, her cheating, the shock of them causing him to take solace in alcohol. Soon he found he couldn't stop. Vera blamed her infidelity on John putting his career before her.

She was right, to a point. All John had ever wanted to be was a top class chef. Ever since he was young and had watched his father as he ran his bakery. From an early age John's father would teach him how to make all sorts of breads, pastries and cakes. John was an eager pupil, by the time he was a teenager he was able to create a lot of dishes and desserts off by heart.

Their marriage began to disintegrate, and twenty years later it came to a head when Vera revealed her crime. John was now almost fully dependent on a drink when he came home in the evening, his alcoholism worsening as Vera spent more and more time away from their home. He was amazed how he had kept his job. The final blow came when John lost his mother. He needed help, but most of all he needed to get away from Vera and the guilt he felt at letting their marriage become the disaster it had. John decided taking the punishment for her crime would be the only way to get his life back on track.

Now here he was, three years later. A recovered alcoholic. He wasn't surprised when Vera wasn't there to meet him from the prison gates. She hadn't visited him in the prison once. Their marriage was a lost cause. She was still living in the house they now owned. John had questioned Vera about ending the marriage as soon as he saw her. A few months down the line where he now found himself, they were locked in bitter divorce proceedings.

As his mother's sole beneficiary, John had sold her London home, placing the money in a secure account where he knew Vera couldn't get hold of it. It gave him enough to start a new life, but where that new life was he wasn't completely sure. Staying in rented accommodation, a call out of the blue meant he could start afresh.

Robert Crawley had been his best friend at their first work placement, where they had trained together. Robert moved to the North with his then girlfriend Cora and their daughter, Mary to start a bakery. John was shocked to receive an email from Robert, asking for his phone number as the one he had hadn't been working for some time. Replying immediately, Robert called and the two spoke on the phone all evening. John explained his situation, finding Robert's complete understanding of his state of affairs flabbergasting. By the end of the evening, he had accepted the offer of becoming new head chef at Downton Place.

And now, here he was. John realised there was still a long way to go. He had given up the bottle, but he was still fighting the temptation to drink. His time in prison had changed him. His failing marriage had changed him. He was harder now, less willing to let people in, to reveal his true feelings. But no one knew him here. Only Robert, and he had promised not to reveal anything more than he needed to about John's past.

John had been given a second chance. And he knew better than to waste it.

* * *

'Right, now I want you to help John out,' Robert instructed his kitchen staff. 'He's a good chef, he knows what he is doing and will be able to sniff any crap coming from you lot a mile off. When I say you lot, I mean you Thomas.'

'I will be charm personified boss,' Thomas replied with a smirk. 'You know that.'

Robert regarded Thomas with a tentative gaze before Gwen coming into the kitchen interrupted the frosty atmosphere. 'He's here, Robert.'

'Right, fantastic,' Robert strode towards the door before looking over his shoulder, zeroing in on Thomas. 'I mean it.'

Leaving the kitchen, he saw John exploring his new surroundings and immediately smiled. Despite a few wrinkles and a slight greying at the temples, John hadn't changed a bit.

'John Bates, my dear man,' Robert bellowed, approaching John with an outstretched hand.

'Robert, so wonderful to see you.'

The two men shared a greeting as the staff gathered behind the reunited friends. The waiting staff, Gwen Sybil and Jimmy sat in a booth to the side of the room, Anna was in the back room on the phone. Tom was watching from the bar, standing beside his fellow barman William Mason. Turning their attentions to the staff present, John puffed out a breath as he followed Robert to the bar.

'So John, all the waiting staff are bar trained but these two gents keep things in check over here.' Robert explained, reaching the bar and placing his hands atop it. 'This gentleman is my bar manager.'

'How's it going? I'm Tom Branson.'

A grin spread across John's face as he shook Tom's hand. 'I'd recognise that accent from anywhere. A fellow Irishman.'

'You're Irish?' Tom asked, shaking John's hand vigorously.

'Yeah, born and bread in Dublin. Unfortunately, living in London for over twenty years has meant I've lost a bit of my native tongue.' John placed a hand on his chest. 'But an Irish heart still beats strongly in here.'

'Good stuff. Looking forward to working with you, John.' Tom patted his colleague on the back. 'This is William.'

'Hi there,' William said quietly, waving shyly.

'Nice to meet you, William.'

'He's tall, isn't he?' Gwen remarked, watching as John and William shook hands.

'Height isn't everything,' Jimmy rebuked before running a hand through his hair.

'Not when you have locks like yours, eh Jimmy?' Sybil whispered before John and Robert began to walk towards them.

'And these guys, are my wonderful waiters and waitresses.' Robert announced, stopping beside Jimmy. 'We have Jimmy, Gwen, Sybil who also happens to be my youngest daughter.'

'It's great to finally be here.' John greeted them with smile and a handshake.

'Nice to meet you all.'

'Well, not all. Where is Ethel?'

'Late,' Anna said impatiently, appearing from the back room and opening the door with a crash. She was studying a clipboard, tapping her pen rhythmically against it. Looking up, she took in the sight of John standing beside Robert. 'Oh sorry, didn't realise our new chef had arrived yet.'

'John Bates. Meet my head waitress and star employee, Anna Smith.'

Anna's gaze met with John's, she was taken aback slightly as he offered her his hand. She hadn't expected him to be as striking as he was, especially when Robert explained he and John were the same age. Her initial reaction was that he had a charming smile, his eyes were beautiful. He was gorgeous.

'Hello Anna, you seem a little flustered. Is everything alright?'

His voice was so sincere, so kind. She detected a hint of an accent, what was it?

'Ethel isn't the most reliable girl in the world,' Robert admitted, putting his hands in his pockets. 'Why is she late this time?'

Anna found she couldn't avert her eyes from John, barely registering Robert's voice, let alone being able to understand what he was asking.

'It's probably a cosmetic emergency, knowing Ethel,' Sybil supposed, an impatient lilt to her tone. John laughed at her comment as he let go of Anna's hand.

'The car won't start,' Anna finally revealed, stepping away from John. 'Which is ironic as she only lives a two minute walk away. She's just left.'

'Who is working the lunchtime shift, today?' Robert asked, John and Anna still sharing a silent link as Gwen answered the question.

'Myself and Ethel, when she finally gets here.'

'Jimmy and Sybil, you can both leave then. See you later,' Anna instructed her staff, both of them bounding away without having to be asked twice. It was hard to break eye contact with John, a feeling that surprised her somewhat. 'Robert, I'd like to speak to you later about taking on those two new staff members please. Bookings are up at the moment and we need the extra help.'

'Of course Anna, I'll meet you in my office once I've seen John into the kitchen.'

John was impressed with Anna's forthrightness, watching as she began to chat with Gwen about the afternoon ahead. He wasn't foolish, he noticed she was staring at him as the conversation went on around them. He was intrigued to find out why, intrigued to find out more about her.

* * *

'Everyone's left now, John,' Anna announced as she carried yet more dirty plates into the kitchen for Daisy to wash.

'Thanks Anna,' John replied, closing the fridge door and turning to face her. 'How was it in the heat of battle tonight?'

'Very busy, but I like it that way. That's not to say I won't be glad when the two new starters arrive next week.' Anna replied, leaning on the kitchen top.

'I bet, it can't be easy to only have two waiting staff when the restaurant is full.'

John began to remove his uniform, Anna watching intently as he moved about the kitchen. The more the days had passed since John had started, the more Anna found herself being drawn in by him. There was something about him Anna couldn't quite put her finger on. The more she spoke to John, the more she was left wanting to know everything about him. He came across as an elusive figure to Anna.

They shared little interactions, little smiles when Anna came to the kitchen to collect meals for the guests. On his second evening, she was sure she felt him shiver when their hands accidentally touched when he passed a plate to her. The way John went about his task left Anna completely transfixed. The manner in which he commanded his kitchen left charisma oozing from his every pore. Anna didn't know where these feelings were coming from. Each night she had worked, she would go home and analyse every moment she had shared with him. On her days off, she wondered how he was getting on without her there.

Although he never revealed much about himself, Anna could tell by the way he spoke John had lived, he was intelligent and had seen things Anna could never even imagine. Experienced, that would be the word she would use to describe the new head chef. Anna was innocent and naive when it came down to it, her beliefs and values dictated this. She couldn't come up with a reason why a man as worldly as John would ever be as interested in her as she was in him.

'How have you found your first week?'

'Good,' John answered, looking up to meet Anna's eyes with a smile on his face. 'You guys have all been great to me. Well, most of you.'

Almost on cue, Thomas walked into the kitchen, followed by Daisy. John and Anna shared a knowing look.

He hadn't said anything, but John had noticed Anna liked to watch him. The attention was flattering, he wasn't going to lie. Of all the people he had met this week, she was the one he had enjoyed getting to know the most. As the days passed, John found himself watching her as well. She really was very pretty, a natural with the customers meaning he had the opportunity to see her laughing on numerous occasions. Her smile lit up the room. The way the conversation flowed between them betrayed the fact they had only known each other a few days. John had never met someone and shared such a connection so quickly. But she was almost twenty years his junior, it was an avenue he knew he could never explore. Her friendship was very welcome as he adjusted to his new life, she was just being friendly. It couldn't be anything else.

'You going home, Chef?' Thomas asked John as Daisy made a start on the washing up.

'Yes Thomas,' John replied, furrowing his brow. 'Unless there is something else you would like me to do before I leave?'

'You're the head chef, you tell me.'

'Don't be an idiot, Thomas,' Daisy sighed without turning around. 'Go home, Chef. Myself and Thomas have everything under control.'

'I don't doubt it,' John kept his gaze locked on Thomas before moving to the kitchen door. 'Best get home to Roxy. Night all.'

'Night chef,' Daisy called after him.

'Roxy?' Anna wondered out loud, John now out of earshot. 'Who is Roxy?'

'What do you care?' Thomas asked coldly, setting about collecting various used utensils around the kitchen. 'He's old enough to be your Dad. To be honest, I never thought the old dog had it in him to have a girlfriend.'

'Thomas, why are you so mean?' Daisy moaned, looking over her shoulder at him. 'Just bring those utensils over to me and keep your unkind comments to yourself.'

'Is it the uniform?'

'What are you going on about, now?'

'Well, you've got a thing for Alfred, now it seems you have your eye on the new boss.'

'Don't be ridiculous...'

Anna left the two assistant chefs to their bickering and left the kitchen. Who was Roxy? And why should it bother her anyway?

* * *

Opening the door to his flat, John braced himself for the oncoming onslaught that was being greeted by his Jack Russell Terrier. Yet to turn the light on, he could hear the tapping of paws on the laminate flooring in the darkness. Reaching for the light switch, light bathed the hallway before Roxy almost leapt into his arms.

'Hello my baby,' John cooed, pulling her into his embrace and placing a series of kisses on her head. 'Did you miss me? Daddy missed you, alright. Shall we have some supper?'

Gently putting her on the floor, John followed Roxy into the kitchen, laughing to himself as she ran around in circles underneath the cupboard that housed her food.

'Anyone would think you hadn't eaten in days,' John remarked with a chuckle, opening the cupboard door resulting in a happy bark from Roxy.

Filling her bowl, John stood up before remembering he hadn't checked his phone since he had left work. Looking at the screen, he saw he had three answer phone messages. Inwardly dreading what was waiting for him, he sat at the living room table and placed his phone on speaker.

'John, why aren't you answering your phone?' It was Vera. 'Anyway, I have been speaking with my lawyer and he thinks I am within my rights to ask for the house, seeing as you have upped and left the area now. So be a love and sign it over to me. Then we can end this sham of a marriage. My lawyers will be in touch with yours. Bye.'

Ending the call, John let out a sharp breath. The way she spoke to him, so condescending, like she hadn't played a part in their marriage ending at all. Vera was the one who had cheated, John had never been unfaithful. Part of him wanted to give her what she wanted, to be rid of her, although he didn't see why he should. The house was worth a reasonable amount. Even half of the profits from the sale would be enough for Vera to buy a smaller property for herself. Picking up his phone, John began to dial Vera's number. Although hoping to talk to her, he was relieved when it went straight to voicemail. After a long day at work, he wasn't sure he could talk to her without losing his temper.

'Hello Vera.' John tried to keep his voice as calm and collected as possible. 'I will not be a love and let you have the house. You put no money into it's purchase, if memory serves my mother's money enabled us to buy it. I think I am being more than generous by offering you half. That is still my offer. So be a love, and accept it so we can both be put out of our misery.'

Satisfied with his reply, John looked down at Roxy as she ate, happily wagging her tail.

He may blame himself for the failure of their marriage, but he wasn't about to be taken for a ride. Not only did he owe it to himself, but he also owed it to the memory of his mother. He had been taken for a fool once by Vera. And that was once too many.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N- Thanks for the reviews on chapter 1. I'm glad you are enjoying the concept for this story, even though I can't take the credit for it. I am excited to see where things go as well.**

**I am conscious about things progressing too quickly, although I am firmly in the camp Anna knew she loved John from episode 1 or 2, John not too far behind in realising his feelings for her. I'm sure it is an innate instinct for a Banna shipper to root for John and Anna, no matter the situation. **

**Disclaimer:** Downton belongs to Julian Fellowes/ ITV/ Carnival

* * *

'Come off it, Anna,' John laughed as he moved the newly cooked steak to the plate beside him. 'Pierce Brosnan as Doctor Who? He was the worst James Bond, fact.'

'I'm sure Pierce finding out a fellow countryman feels that way would be a disappointment to him,' Anna replied, watching as John placed some chips onto the plate next to the steak. 'How about Stephen Fry?'

'Ahh, now your talking,' John agreed, moving the plate under the heat lamps for collection by one of the waiting staff. 'He would be brilliant.'

'Yeah, but not sure how he would fair running away from the Daleks.'

'He doesn't need to run,' John shook his head, reaching for another clean plate. 'He has a time machine.'

'If only I did.' Hearing his voice, John looked up to see Thomas re enter the kitchen, tying his apron around his middle. 'I'd turn back time and never have taken this job. Time for your break, chef.'

John decided to ignore the sarcastic lilt to Thomas's tone, instead beginning to remove his chef's whites.

'Perfect timing, I'm just heading out for mine too,' Anna revealed, John's face instantly lighting up as he watched her leave the kitchen.

'See you in twenty, Thomas.'

His assistant chef mumbled something incoherent as John followed in the path Anna had just taken. John had to admit to himself he was pleased he would be sharing another break with Anna. The staff room was basic, John sitting at the small table that was positioned against the wall. Such was their routine after working together and sharing breaks for a few weeks, she was already making the head chef a cup of tea as he began to flick through the paper that William always seemed to leave in the middle of the table.

'Alone at last,' John growled with a smirk, Anna looking over her shoulder and her face instantly reddening as she took in his facial expression.

'I take it you want a tea?' She asked, turning back to concentrate on her task.

'You know, I'll have to make you a cup of tea, one of these breaks,' John remarked, not looking up from the paper.

'It's a natural reaction now,' Anna shrugged, pouring the freshly boiled water into the mug. 'Seems I always make the tea, no matter what the situation.'

'Well, very good you are at it too.'

Anna couldn't explain it, but the smallest compliment from John left her blushing. 'Are you coming to the bowling this Saturday?'

'Do I have to?' John groaned, looking up from the paper as Anna approached with two mugs full of freshly made tea. She sat down, passing his drink across the table to him.

'You're the head chef. Of course you have to.'

'I don't know, it's not really my thing.' John sat back in his chair, placing a hand on the side of his mug before bringing his drink closer to his mouth. He could see the disappointment on her face, it made him feel a sensation that was unfamiliar to him. He couldn't bear to let her down. 'We'll see, let's put it that way. Besides, I'm sure someone like you would be able to find a much more entertaining way to spend your Saturday.'

'You'd be surprised,' Anna raised her eyebrows.

'Come on, a beautiful young lady like you.' John continued as Anna averted her gaze from his. He was finding her reaction to his comment wholly endearing. 'You must have a string of dates lined up.'

'Tonight I am watching some cheesy rom com with Gwen at her place, I am hardly beating the men off with a stick ' Anna answered, wiping a strand of hair away from her face. 'My situation is complicated.'

'Ditto.'

Suddenly looking up at John, Anna was about to press for more answers before they were interrupted by Jimmy coming into the room. 'Anna, you better come quick. A party of ten have just turned up without a reservation.'

Jimmy disappeared as soon as he had finished his sentence, Anna resuming eye contact with John who was looking most amused. 'Nothing around here works without you, does it?'

'I'm not sure I'd say that,' Anna sighed as she rose to her feet. 'Jimmy just doesn't know how to handle a crisis it would seem. The sooner the new guys find their feet, the better. Enjoy your tea, John.'

* * *

Looking around the familiar room she was in, Anna lost herself in her thoughts as she waited for Gwen. Her fellow waitress and best friend had invited her around to her flat for a girly night in. It wasn't often the two shared a night off, particularly recently with the staffing shortages at the restaurant. Robert had been on the recruiting trail, keeping it in the family with one of the newcomers. Rose, Robert's cousin's daughter had joined the ranks. Moving down to Yorkshire from Scotland, her parents deciding to go travelling, she had also moved in with Robert and his wife, Cora. She was certainly a breath of fresh air around the place, Anna welcoming her free spirit and exuberant attitude.

The other new waiter, Joseph Molesley had taken a shine to Anna, this not going unnoticed to the other staff in his two weeks working at the restaurant. His attentions passed Anna by, especially when her own were fully focussed on the new head chef. Having worked in his new position for well over a month now, Anna had become quite friendly with John. It materialised they shared the same tastes in music and films, Anna's choice of movie not the usual chick flicks her friends enjoyed to watch. They just clicked, Anna enjoyed visiting him in the kitchen for a quick chat, or in the staff room at the restaurant on breaks.

Although in his late forties, his years meant he was insightful, and much different to talk to than men of Anna's age. On a night out, most men were only after one thing and that thing was not of interest to Anna on first meeting a man. When she spoke to John, she appreciated the way he seemed genuinely interested in what she had to say. In turn, Anna also loved to listen to John. He'd say certain things without revealing too much, leaving Anna begging to know everything about him. Like earlier that day in the staff room. He had a past, that much was certain. There was a reason he had moved to Yorkshire.

'So nice to have a night off together, isn't it?' Gwen remarked as she rejoined Anna, interrupting her from her thoughts. She was, rather impressively, carrying a bowl of popcorn, two glasses and a bottle of wine. 'I haven't watched _The Notebook _in ages.'

'Yeah, great,' Anna said less than enthusiastically, studying the DVD case on the arm of the sofa next to her.

'Come on, we watched _Die Hard 2 _on your request last time,' Gwen replied as she sat beside Anna, placing the bowl of popcorn on her friend's lap before beginning to open the wine. 'Honestly, going by your choice of entertainment no one would guess you were a vicar's daughter.'

'Maybe it's my way of rebelling,' Anna reasoned, taking a glass of wine from Gwen. 'Thank you.'

'Joe bought the wine you know, for tonight. Once I told him we were having a girly night in he wanted to ensure we had a good time.'

'What?' Anna furrowed her brow, looking at the contents of her glass. 'Why?'

Gwen began to giggle as she sat back on the sofa to look at Anna. 'Come off it, Anna. You must have noticed the way he hangs on your every word at work. How he follows you around like a lovesick puppy.'

'I thought he was just being friendly, wanting to get on my good side seeing as I am technically his immediate boss.'

'Yeah, okay,' Gwen answered in between her giggling. 'You, Anna Smith are an attractive girl. I never get it when you act so blasé in these matters.'

'Maybe my situation makes me naive,' Anna shrugged as she helped herself to a handful of popcorn.

'Don't put yourself down. I respect your beliefs wholeheartedly,' Gwen said, reaching for the DVD player's remote control. 'I sometimes wish I had waited.'

'Only sometimes?'

Gwen met Anna's gaze. 'It depends completely on the man you are sharing your bed with, I suppose. Believe me, on occasions you wonder why you bother, on others you thank God you're alive. To be fair, the former outweighs the latter.'

Anna laughed out loud at her friend's statement. 'I don't know. Sometimes I am glad I'm waiting for the right man, the next I wonder what I am missing out on.'

'You'll never know any different I suppose, but what if the right man is a flop in bed?'

'Gwen!' Anna exclaimed, throwing a handful of popcorn in her direction. ' I am hoping that because I am waiting for the man I truly love, that side of things will just fall into place.'

'So any potential Mr Right's on the horizon?' Gwen quizzed, turning on the DVD player. 'Joe doesn't stand a chance?'

'He's sweet,' Anna considered through a mouthful of popcorn. 'But he doesn't instantly strike me as husband material.'

'Not surprised, he must be in his fifties at least...'

'Age is but a number, Gwen.' Anna said in a sing song voice, rolling her eyes as the opening scenes of _The Notebook _began to play on the screen.

'Really? So you could see yourself settling down with someone older?'

'Maybe, would depend on the man,' Anna answered, suddenly thinking of John before shaking the thought of him from her mind. As far as she knew, he had a girlfriend. He always seemed to drop this Roxy into the conversation. He was off limits. 'Lets watch this, shall we? And despair in the fact our love lives will never quite be as romantic as the couple in this film.'

'That's it, Anna, Just suck all the hopes and dreams out of me, won't you?'

* * *

Following John's induction into life at Downton Place, Tom and Robert insisted on taking him out on the town, to welcome him to Yorkshire. For the first time, John found he could enjoy himself without alcohol. Maybe that was what a life with Vera needed, alcohol to make it bearable. John revealed to Tom he was a recovering alcoholic, the constant refusal of a beer by an Irishman resulting in Tom asking questions. He was supportive, John relieved that not only did he still have a friend in Robert, a friendship he had desperately missed, but had possibly found a new comrade in Tom.

The first few weeks had run as smoothly as could be expected. John had been met with hostility from Thomas, he didn't know why although he had his suspicions the young man may have wanted to become head chef. Still, John trusted his old friends decision to put him in charge ahead of the younger kitchen assistants, and he promised himself to grab the opportunity with both hands.

The menu was easy to grasp, John personally enjoying cooking more wholesome food that Downton Place offered, rather than the expensive meals he was used to creating in London. The atmosphere, Thomas excepted, was a lot more easy going, John had to admit to himself he was enjoying his new job.

Apart from Thomas, the other staff had welcomed John with open arms. Alfred was an eager student, enthusiastic to learn from his new boss. John could tell Daisy had a thing for her fellow assistant chef, occasionally chuckling to himself as she flirted with him, trying to act nonchalant but coming across as anything but. His encounters with Mary had been brief. It was clear she had a job to do, and she would do anything to ensure it was done well. Edith was much more laid back than her older sister, but it was Sybil who John really connected with out of the Crawley sisters. She was such a bubbly character. She asked John a lot about London, the places to go, the things to see. A visit in the kitchen from Sybil would brighten the place up for the few minutes she was present. John hadn't had much to do with William but he seemed friendly enough, however Jimmy reminded John of his younger self. He prayed, for the young waiter's sake, that he found some humility before it was too late.

There was a shock a couple of weeks into his tenure when an old friend showed up to work on the waiting staff. Joseph Molesley had been a waiter in John's first appointment as a qualified chef in London, nearly twenty years ago. Joseph left to move back to his native Yorkshire to look after his father, still sharing a house with him to this day. It was nice to have a familiar face nearby, to remind him of life before it began to turn sour.

It had been a long day, John reflected as he began to tidy the kitchen. A table of twelve had arrived right in the middle of the busy period, all wanting different things. It didn't help when Ethel got the order's mixed up, meaning three of the customers received the wrong meal. To top it all, when John came in to work the evening shift, Thomas had left the kitchen in such a state of disarray it was all John could do not to think he had done it on purpose. He knew he couldn't be there every hour of the day but John wished it wasn't Thomas who would be in charge in his absence. Robert had on occasion stepped in but this wasn't always possible. As a chef, John liked things done in a certain way, equipment and food stored in a particular manner. It seemed Thomas would go out of his way to cause disorganisation and chaos. On the occasions they worked together, Thomas would ignore John for the most part. Something would have to eventually give.

Looking at the clock as it gently ticked up to eleven, John would be glad when he could get home, put his feet up and let Roxy fall asleep in his lap. The evening shift finally over with, John looked out of the kitchen door across the restaurant to see Anna still hard at work, clearing tables, intermittently talking to Ethel. John felt his breath hitch as Anna looked up and met his gaze. Smiling, he nodded in her direction before she looked away to carry on with her task.

In the few weeks they had known each other Anna had proved to be his main ally, particularly against Thomas, as he found his feet. It had come to John's attention recently that he would find excuses to be in the staff room when she was on her break, or to be the one to pass the plates over when she came to collect the guests meals. He just had this desire to be near her, to talk to her whenever he could. Why, he couldn't fathom. Anna shouldn't mix with the likes of him, as soon as she knew the truth about his past that would be that. John was sure of it.

'I'll finish up here, Chef. You go home.'

John reluctantly turn his gaze away from Anna to acknowledge Alfred, who was preparing to wash up. Daisy had long since left, Alfred drawing the short straw to stay and tidy up the kitchen.

'Thanks Alf, if you are sure,' John replied, beginning to remove his red bandana and chef's whites jacket. He had never used a proper chef's hat, deciding he probably already looked ridiculous enough in his checkered trousers. 'I am on the lunchtime shift tomorrow so getting home earlier will be a bonus.'

'Are you coming bowling on Saturday with the rest of us?'

'Maybe,' John replied with a grimace as he reached for his jacket.

The restaurant remained closed on a Saturday until opening up for evening trading at seven. It was during this time that Robert arranged team bonding exercises every few weeks, usually resulting in the staff of Downton Place descending on the local bowling alley.

'You'll have to. As new head chef you'll be a team captain, alongside Mr Crawley of course.'

'Of course,' John sighed, zipping up his coat before picking up his bag. He remembered the look on Anna's face when he revealed he wasn't sure if he would attend. Suddenly, John knew what he had to do. 'I can't very well refuse, can I? Night Alf.'

Continuing out into the restaurant, John strode towards the front doors, waving to Tom and Sybil behind the bar as he went. He chanced a glance across to Anna, who was chatting intently to Ethel whilst pointing out various things on the menu.

Chuckling as he took in the sight of Ethel with her arms folded as Anna tried to emphasise whatever point she was trying to make, John moved closer to the two waitresses until he could hear what was being said.

'Ethel, the bloke was a vegetarian.' Anna argued, throwing the menu down on the table. 'Getting his Caesar salad mixed up with a ten ounce rump steak is simply not acceptable. Those steaks are nearly fifteen pounds a time.'

'Night ladies.' John interrupted, waving to accompany his words.

'Tell her, John. Those steaks are too expensive to waste.'

'I don't know,' John said as he tapped his bag. 'Her waiting for me at home will enjoy this treat.'

'See, it's not going to waste,' Ethel said, nodding in John's direction. 'I best carry on with cleaning the tables.'

Anna sighed loudly as Ethel continued on with the task she was in the middle of before she was interrupted. She looked up at John who was grinning at her.

'What?'

'Nothing,' John shook his head before turning on his heel and making to walk away. 'Just remind me never to get on the wrong side of you. Best get back to Roxy.'

'Can you reheat steak?' Anna asked, John stopping to look over his shoulder at her with a puzzled look, she feeling the need to explain. 'Well, you can't give it to her cold, can you?'

'Oh no, she won't mind.' John replied. 'I'll cut it up for her and she'll wolf it down.'

'You cut her food for her?'

'Yeah,' John answered, confused as to why Anna found it hard to understand. 'She can't very well eat it whole.'

'I suppose not,' Anna shrugged, smiling slightly and finding the whole situation between John and Roxy odd. 'You'll have to bring her in for a meal on your night off. So we can meet her.'

'Oh, I don't think that would be appropriate,' John laughed before striding more purposefully towards the front doors. 'Goodnight Anna.'

* * *

Waiting patiently as Robert set up the score monitors, John was pretty satisfied with his team selection. Thankfully, after a heavy Friday night out, Thomas had shied away, John not finding spending his Saturday afternoon with him especially appealing. John had gone for youth, picking Sybil, Jimmy, Tom, Alfred and Anna on his team. Remembering Joseph was never the sportiest of men, he inwardly laughed as Robert picked the new waiter as his first team mate. William and Rose could prove to be useful with a bowling ball, however, and Mary seemed to be good at everything she set her mind to. Daisy made up Robert's team, and John's new boss was extremely enthusiastic.

'Okay, let's do this team.' Robert sent out a rallying cry as he turned from the keypad to look at his less than excited team mates still in the middle of changing into their bowling shoes. 'Whoever wins gets Sunday off.'

'Great, so we'll be working tomorrow then,' Joseph groaned.

'You haven't got a hope in hell,' Tom shouted from John's team's side of the alley.

'Language Tom,' Anna warned, digging him in the ribs with her elbow. 'Besides, don't expect me to win us many points. I can't bowl to save my life as you all know.'

'No, me either,' Sybil agreed, folding her arms.

'You are really making me believe in my team choices, guys,' John remarked, his faith is his team slowly dwindling.

'Well, it's lucky you have other talents that make up for your lack of bowling skill,' Tom purred in Sybil's ear before pressing a soft kiss to her cheek.

'Please, can we start the game?' Robert begged, furrowing his brow at the sight of his daughter and the bar manager. 'John, you're up first.'

Taking a deep breath, John picked up the bowling ball he had chosen and strode towards the top of the lane. Positioning himself, John swung his arm back, then forwards releasing the ball with a smooth motion. As it traveled with speed just offset to the middle of the lane towards the standing pins, John smiled as each one smashed to the ground. A strike.

'Get in, Chef,' Alfred cheered, standing up to meet John with a high five.

John's eyes searched for Anna's, finding them and immediately noticing the impressed look on her face. Walking towards his team, he stood behind the bench where Anna was sitting. She looked over her shoulder at him.

'Very impressive,' Anna murmured so only John could hear. He nodded in response before turning his attentions to the song and dance Robert was causing about his first attempt at hitting back.

'Anything my old comrade can do, I can do better,' Robert boasted before promptly bowling his first ball into the gutter.

'This is going to be a long afternoon,' Mary moaned, resting her head in her hands.

She was right. Despite William keeping the scores respectable, John's series of strikes, coupled with Tom's efforts meant the head Chef's team were soundly beating Robert's. As the last round of throws were coming around, Anna was disappointed to not have yet scored her usual strike.

'Normally, I get one right,' Anna sighed, stepping forward to pick up a ball for her last turn.

John noticed the frustration in her voice, and decided to offer his assistance. 'Would you mind if I gave you some pointers?'

'Well, seeing as you are King Pin today, that would be nice.'

Sharing a smile, John followed Anna to the lane, she looking in his direction waiting for him to begin offering his advice. What she wasn't expecting was to feel his hand on her forearm, the other on the small of her back. His words were lost to her as she adjusted to the feeling of his hand upon her skin. It felt as though she was on fire, his touch so assured yet so gentle. His hands felt softer than she had imagined. She tried her best to listen to what John was saying.

'Firstly, we need to sort out your bowling position. Align your non dominant foot with the middle dot on the ground.' John began, looking down to the floor. 'So you bowl right handed, this will be your left foot.'

'Okay,' Anna replied uneasily, adjusting herself whilst John kept a firm grip on her.

'Great, the arrows on the lane help with your aim.'

'I need all the help I can get,' Anna said with a nervous chuckle, John joining in by laughing along with her. 'I never knew what those markings meant.'

'I am a fountain of useless knowledge. As we work together longer you'll realise that about me. Ask me to name who was in the frame to be Indiana Jones before Harrison Ford, I could tell you.'

'Tom Selleck,' Anna answered without missing a beat.

'Correct,' John said, rather impressed Anna knew that. 'Anyway, I digress. Bowling a strike.'

Anna giggled at his bumbling before he continued with his coaching. 'The centre of the lane is usually the most slippery part, so aiming the ball slightly to the side of the middle should make sure the ball doesn't spill off to one of the sides.'

'Who knew bowling was this complicated?' Anna thought out loud, looking at the lane as she took in his guidance. She was still very aware of his hand on her forearm, relieved his grip remained firm, not sure she was ready for him to let go quite yet. The notion was absurd, this wasn't the most romantic of situations, yet she was finding his touch highly addictive. Suddenly, his hand was gone and she felt a chill run through her body, feeling almost disconnected, less alive than she had been under his touch.

'Okay, so keep your shoulders parallel with the foul line, when you swing your arm forwards, keep it as straight as possible and remember to aim for either of the arrows on the floor next to the centre one.'

'Right,' Anna said under her breath, psyching herself up.

John stood back, arms folded and watched as Anna followed his instructions almost to the letter. The ball didn't travel at great speed, but John could tell as Anna released it her accuracy was near enough spot on. Willing the ball down the lane, John realised just before the ball hit the pins that Anna had got her bowl perfect. As he predicted, all the pins fell to the floor, resulting in Anna's first strike of the game.

'Yes!' Anna squealed, punching the air in delight.

'Very good,' John clapped his hands, grinning from ear to ear. Offering his hand for a high five, Anna obliged him, he grasping her fingers in his as their hands met. 'You're a natural.'

Finding herself blushing under his intense gaze and the feeling of his fingers clasped around hers, Anna looked to the floor. 'I'm not sure about that, but thank you.'

Releasing her grip on John's hand, Anna didn't look back at him as she sat back down next to Gwen. Her friend was smirking as Anna got herself comfortable, Anna turning her head to be met with Gwen's smiling face.

'What?'

'What the heck was that? He held on to you longer than would be deemed necessary.'

'He was helping me,' Anna shrugged, looking at the lane to see Daisy throw yet another gutter ball, John tapping her shoulder in commiseration.

'Anna, I know you better than most. I saw the way you were blushing.' Gwen nudged her friend softly. 'You fancy him don't you?'

'I'm sorry? I do not,' Anna exclaimed, although something in her tone was less than convincing. Noticing Gwen arching her eyebrow, clearly not buying her friends protest. Anna sighed before continuing. 'He's got a girlfriend.'

'Oh yes, we've got Sunday off.' Tom jumped up and began to dance on the spot. 'How about we head to the beach, Sybbie?'

'It's February, Tom.' Sybil replied, quashing his enthusiasm. 'How about we stay in?'

As Robert tried to convince Sybil to spend her Sunday with her parents instead of her boyfriend, John found he couldn't take his eyes from Anna. He couldn't explain it, there was something about her he found intoxicating. Being close to her, albeit in the proximity of bowling coach and student, it had made his head spin. She smelt so good, it felt heavenly as the skin of his palm rested upon her arm.

'John!' John brought himself out of his thoughts, Robert standing in front of him with his hands on his hips. 'Are you coming with us?'

'Going where?' John asked, seemingly having drifted off into his own world for a moment.

'To the Leeds United game, Alfred's brother works on the turnstiles and thinks he can get us tickets.'

Realising he had nothing better to do, John agreed. 'Why not?'

* * *

'This is much nicer than walking the streets of London, eh Rox?' John commented as he walked his Jack Russell through the village in Ripon on the Sunday off he had won as captain of the winning blowing team.

Whereas in the capital there was always something to see, something to do, John didn't mind the quieter lifestyle that Yorkshire had to offer. Especially after the last few years he had experienced. Even though he had only been in the north for a short time, he could already see a faint light at the end of what had been a very dark tunnel. A brilliant new job, a comfortable new home. beautiful surroundings. It was time something finally went right in his life. Time to finally be content.

Reaching the end of the village, John looked to the crowd of people leaving the church. Having never really been a believer himself despite a Catholic upbringing, he always wondered what made people go to church Sunday after Sunday. How in what was sometimes a cruel world, people could still find it within themselves to believe. As he went to walk on, Roxy's interest in a rose bush suddenly diminishing, he noticed someone familiar placing a kiss on the vicar's cheek. It was Anna. Stopping to observe for a moment, he looked on intrigued as Anna chatted intently to the vicar. So this was why Anna was always off from work during the day on Sunday.

John wasn't expecting her to look up when she did, but found himself smiling when she noticed him, waving at him. He waved back, something telling him to stop and wait for a moment instead of carrying on, despite Roxy pulling on her lead to do so. His patience was rewarded when she began to walk towards him, her long blonde curls blowing slightly in the breeze as she walked briskly.

'Hello John.'

'Anna. I never had you down as a church goer. Not that you shouldn't be.'

'Yeah, my Dad is the Vicar actually,' Anna answered before bending down to greet the dog almost squealing at her owner to walk on now. She jumped up at Anna, wagging her tail as Anna stroked her back.

'Really?' John said in surprise. 'I didn't expect that.'

'Who is this?' Anna asked, patting the excited dog on the head.

'This, is the infamous Roxy.'

'I'm sorry?' It was Anna's turn to feel surprised. 'This is Roxy?'

'Yeah,' John nodded, slightly confused as to Anna's reaction before her laughter left him even more puzzled. 'What's so funny?'

'Well,' Anna began, standing up once more. 'I thought this Roxy you spoke about was a girlfriend.'

'God no,' John reciprocated her laughter before previous conversations suddenly made sense. 'So that's why you thought it was strange I was taking her home cold steak.'

'Exactly. It seems there is so much we need to learn about one another.'

'Indeed,' John said, a husky lilt to his tone, his eyes imploring. 'Anna, would it be terribly forward of me to invite you back to mine for a coffee?'

Anna looked at her watch, remembering a shopping date she had made with Gwen. Then she met his gaze again, she realised in a heartbeat her answer. Putting her plans back an hour or so wouldn't hurt.

'That would be nice, thank you John.'

* * *

As the kettle boiled for the third time, Anna was busy texting Gwen telling her she would have to cancel their shopping trip. Not divulging the real reason, citing a family emergency, Anna didn't want to admit what a good time she was having with John. The conversation never waned although Anna had done most of the talking. Before she knew where she was she was telling him all about her past, everything but the most important aspect of her life. Something inside her wanted to tell him, most people had found out anyway through sharing a night out with her, or Anna revealing all to those close to her. She was just waiting for the right moment. Then, as if he could read her mind, he gave her the perfect opportunity.

'So how far do your beliefs run, then?' John asked, placing a tray of coffee and biscuits on the table.

'Well, I believe there is a God, and I believe a man called Jesus died to save us all.' Anna explained as she helped herself to more coffee. 'I believe if more people lived by his teachings, and what the scriptures tell us the world would be a better place.'

'Do you follow the scriptures closely then, Anna?'

'I do,' Anna replied, exhaling deeply. 'So much so that I am saving myself for the man I marry.'

John's ears pricked at her admission, his eyes instantly searching for hers. He understood she was a woman of faith, but to hear how dedicated Anna was to her religion surprised him to some degree. It was such an difficult value to live your life by, particularly in this day and age. John found himself admiring Anna for her choice.

'You're a...'

'Virgin? Yes,' Anna interrupted, taking a sip of her coffee. 'Thirty one years old and never shared a man's bed. Some might call it pathetic and old fashioned.'

'On the contrary, not meaning to sound patronising, I respect you for making this choice about your life.' John was relieved when she smiled at his remark.

'It isn't just about my religious beliefs,' Anna continued, looking down at the table. 'I used to go with my Dad on his pastoral duties. I heard some awful stories. How something that was supposed to be special, sacred even could be used in a way to destroy lives. Like it was meaningless, simply serving its purpose as a tool to get what you want.'

John shuddered as he remembered the latter years of his marriage to Vera. How their nightly activities, usually when they had both had too much to drink, occurred just because it was the only thing that kept their sham of a marriage together. It wasn't an act of love, not in the end anyway. A tool to get what he wanted, to keep the peace between them, for a short time anyway. Now he knew this detail about her, there was no way he could entertain thoughts of growing closer to her. He wouldn't allow her to be tainted with his past, his mistakes. She was pure, innocent. Everything he was not.

'I decided in my mid teens to make that decision, and here I am, now into my thirties.' She laughed to herself. 'I thought I would have met Mr Right by now. If I had known it would take this long, I might have made a different decision. I often wonder what I am missing out on.'

'Well, not that my opinion matters I think it's a wonderful thing. My respect for you has increased ten fold.'

'I just want to give my virginity to someone I truly love. It belongs to that man, and only him. That is how I feel, I know he is out there somewhere.'

'Well, I hope you meet him sooner than later, Anna. Truly, I do.'

Anna lifted her head, making eye contact with John. She found a kindness in his eyes she had never seen in another mans. His support was sincere, his smile unwavering as they stared at one another. He really did have the most beautiful eyes, the way they crinkled when he smiled made Anna's heart melt. Deep down she knew. Knew that her feelings for John were growing deeper by the day. She wondered if he could sense the hidden meaning in her response to his previous statement, part of her didn't care if he did.

'Oh, so do I, John. So do I.'

* * *

**A/N 2- There probably won't be another update until after Christmas. To anyone who has read, followed, reviewed or favourited a story of mine, thank you from the bottom of my heart. Writing has been an escape for me over the last year, thanks for being a part of it. **

**Merry Christmas. **


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N- Hope you all had a very merry Christmas. A lot happens in this chapter, and things move a long a little for John and Anna. Not too far though, sorry for that. **

**Disclaimer:** Same as chapters 1 and 2.

* * *

'Nah mate, you've under changed me,' Alfred shook his head, looking at the coins in his hand.

'You gave me a tenner,' the barman shouted over the loud music playing in the pub.

'No he didn't, the note he gave you was purple. A twenty,' Tom argued his colleagues case. John and Robert looked on in amusement as Tom and Alfred argued with the barman, knowing the man behind the bar was in the right. 'We want our right change and we're not leaving till we get it.'

A quiet drink over the football at Alfred's had turned into a night on the town. Tom, Alfred and John had managed to get the same Saturday night off, and along with Robert felt they should make the most of it.

'Shall we go and sit down, leave the young'uns to it?' Robert suggested, taking two of the four freshly pulled pints from the bar and walking to a nearby table, John following. Sitting down and making themselves comfortable, Robert looked up to see a man in a suit now standing beside the man Tom and Alfred were arguing with. 'Alf did give the guy a tenner, right?'

'Yep,' John replied before taking a sip of his drink. Looking over his shoulder, John grinned as the man in the suit took the cash drawer from the till and walked with it to the backroom. 'Oh well, looks like they are about to have egg on their faces, eh?'

'Anyway, John. How are you enjoying life in the north?'

Taking a moment to consider Robert's question, John thought about how much his life had changed in the little under three months he had been in Yorkshire. He was much happier, it seemed being a couple of hundred miles away from Vera was doing wonders for his well being. Only in contact with his wife through telephone calls and lawyers instead of face to face meant John felt a lot more relaxed, a lot happier. The problem was still there, but now he had a new job and new surroundings to help take his mind off his situation.

The people who he had met had assisted in helping him find this happier place too. Robert was great, supportive of his friend like he had been when they first got to know each other. John had got on with Tom from the start, the camaraderie they shared born no doubt from their shared nationality. Alfred offered nothing but respect to his new boss, John flattered his assistant chef wanted to learn as much as he could. The others in the restaurant were friendly enough, Thomas the only one who offered any hostility. John simply took it all with a pinch of salt, it was Thomas's problem, not John's.

Then there was Anna. There was just something about her John couldn't quite put his finger on. They simply clicked, their friendship growing deeper as the days passed by. Since her admission to him, and his finding out about her beliefs, he had a new found respect for her. Not that she needed his respect of course. She was pure, innocent, beautiful even and twice the person John would ever be. It warmed John's heart that Anna trusted him to reveal that side of herself, the only other people who knew were her family and Gwen. Why she had the faith in him to trust him with her secret, John would never be able to work out. He was convinced once she knew all about his past, that would be that. And John wouldn't blame her.

'I'm over four hours drive away from Vera, life is grand.' John answered with a smile.

'Good man,' Robert nodded in acknowledgement before looking beyond John to see Tom and a rather embarrassed Alfred approaching. The barman was standing with his arms crossed, a smug expression on his face.

'Drink up lads, we're leaving,' Tom said before carrying on past John and Robert towards the exit, Alfred following sheepishly behind.

'I did try and tell you,' Robert called after the two of them before looking to John. 'The youth of today, always convinced they are in the right.'

* * *

'Has Mary left yet?' Robert asked, walking into the office at the restaurant. Anna was sitting at the desk, sorting out the rota's for the following month.

'Yeah, she just left,' Anna replied, not looking up from her task.

'Great, I'm just going to get John then I want to talk to the two of you.'

'Why?' Anna began to enquire before realising Robert had left her alone once more.

Sighing deeply, Anna cursed whichever person senior to her had allowed Jimmy, Rose and Ethel all to have the same weekend off. Just as she thought she had worked out her staffing conundrum, the sound of Robert and John talking outside the room knocked her off her stride.

'Honestly Rob, you want to keep a tight reign on those two. Rose bent down to pick up a piece of cutlery she had dropped and Jimmy observed the view like she was an oil painting hanging in the National Gallery.'

'I'll kill him,' Robert said in response to his friend as they reached the office door.

'Could you two talk any louder?' Anna moaned, throwing her pen down on the desk. 'Who gave three waiting staff the same weekend off, anyway?'

'Erm,' Robert stuttered, not wanting to admit to Anna in her current frustrated state that it was him. 'Look, I'll sort it. John, sit down.'

The head chef moved to the chair beside Anna, looking at her amused as he did so. He admired the way she stood up to the management, the fact was nine times out of ten she was right.

'Now, as you both know Mary is turning thirty next month.'

'How could we not know?' Anna sighed, looking to John. 'All she's spoken about for the past month is that Matthew is going to propose.'

'Well, I want her to have a surprise party here,' Robert revealed, sitting on the edge of the desk, 'and I want you guys to organise it.'

'Us?' John responded in surprise, placing a hand on his chest.

'Yeah,' Robert nodded. 'Anna is my best waitress full of imaginative ideas and you are the best chef I have ever come across. I'm sure the two of you could put on the perfect party for my darling daughter. I do have a theme in mind, however...'

'Oh great,' Anna rolled her eyes. 'Hold on tight, John. Based on what interests Mary, we could be needed to glue a million diamonds to the wall.'

'No,' Robert argued before stopping to think for a moment. 'Although that is a bloody good idea.'

'No Robert, I respect you as a boss but I refuse to get down on my hands and knees and...'

'Settle down, Anna.' Robert interrupted, chuckling softly. 'I'm joking. I was thinking a 50's theme. Grease, Happy Days. That kind of get up. All the female staff pink ladies, the men T Birds.'

'Classy,' John remarked, meeting Anna's gaze and smirking. 'So are we thinking hot dogs, cheese burgers, fries, milkshakes?'

'Yeah, we should do the place up like it's an American style diner.' Anna agreed. 'Waffles and pancakes as well as hot dogs, things like that. My uncle is a carpenter so maybe he could knock together some old style booths.'

'See, this is why you guys make a great team,' Robert was thoroughly pleased with himself as he watched John and Anna bounce ideas off each other. Standing up, he walked to the office door before looking back at the two of them over his shoulder. 'I'll leave it in your capable hands.'

Watching him disappear, John and Anna waited until their boss was out of ear shot before collapsing into laughter. John pointed in the direction Robert had just left in before speaking. 'You certainly have him under the thumb.'

'I just speak my mind,' Anna shrugged.

'And I admire you for that,' John said in response, making eye contact with Anna causing silence to fall in the room for a moment. John was quickly realising Anna possessed the most beautiful eyes he had ever seen. He cleared his throat as Anna averted her gaze from his. 'So, have you done much party planning before?'

'Nope,' Anna replied without missing a beat. 'You?'

'Nope,' John replied in kind, causing the laughter that had died down between them to flare up once more. 'Maybe we should meet outside of work, have an evening to discuss it perhaps?'

'We're both off on Thursday, why don't I come around to yours and...'

'I could make us some dinner,' John interrupted Anna with a suggestion, Anna smiling upon hearing it.

'I'd like that.'

'Chef, can you come back to the kitchen?' They both heard Daisy calling John, John rolling his eyes and standing up. 'Thomas is arguing with a customer about the steak he has just cooked for them. '

'Great,' John sighed, walking towards the door. 'See you later, Anna.'

'You bet,' Anna answered, smiling in John's direction as he glanced back at her over his shoulder before moving out of the office.

Anna loved the way he seemed to smirk at her at different intervals, the effect it had on her was something she couldn't explain. She'd be lying if she wasn't looking forward to working with him closely to plan Mary's party. She had always taken pleasure in her job, but nowadays knowing John would be there too meant she enjoyed her job just that little bit more. Ever since she had told him about her belief's, John had been nothing but supportive. Most people she told thought it was an unusual choice for her to make, men especially. But not John. In fact, ever since she had told him they seemed to have spent more time together.

She certainly wasn't complaining.

* * *

Having rung the doorbell, Anna waited outside John's door, able to hear various noises inside as she did so. There was a crash, then she heard John's voice calling his dog.

'Roxy, back in the kitchen. Roxy, come here.'

She laughed as she tried to imagine the scene going on behind the door before it opened, John standing there with Roxy in his arms.

'Sorry about this,' he said apologetically, looking down at the dog in his arms who was trying desperately to get close enough to lick Anna. 'She seems to get very excited when she hears the doorbell ring.'

'That's alright,' Anna replied, stepping inside the flat before stroking the dog on the head. 'Hello Roxy.'

Roxy now down on the floor, Anna bent to greet her as John shut the door. 'Dinner's just about ready if you'd like to come through to the kitchen. Can I take your coat?'

Anna turned, dropping her coat from the shoulders before John took hold of it. He was transfixed as he pulled the coat down her arms. Anna looked breathtaking in a dark blue dress, John had rarely seen her in anything but her waitress uniform. Now holding her coat in his hands, Anna turned to look at him, John realising he should say something.

'Errr, you look, erm...'

She furrowed her brow, recognising his nervousness and finding it endearing. 'Are you okay, John?'

'Yeah, you look really nice.'

'Thank you,' Anna replied, looking down at herself as John hung up her coat.

'This way,' John smiled, gesturing towards the kitchen, Roxy following them with a wagging tail.

'What are we having?' Anna asked, the smell coming from the kitchen was simply delicious as she walked behind John.

'Nothing too fancy, spaghetti bolognaise...'

'That's my favourite,' Anna interrupted, taking the seat at the table that John had pulled out for her.

'Well, I'll admit a little birdie did tell me that,' John said sheepishly, moving across the kitchen to his cooker. 'I asked Gwen what you liked.' Appreciating that John had gone to the trouble of finding out about her favourite meal, Anna blushed a little as he turned to look at her from the stove. 'Is that alright? That I asked Gwen I mean. I don't mean to pry...'

'On the contrary, John. I'm very flattered you went to so much trouble.'

With a nod of the head, he turned to face the stove once more, but not before he smiled at Anna. There was that smirk from him again, the one that made Anna feel as if she was on fire. She was glad John had turned away from her, giving her time to gather herself before he began to plate up their meals.

'I hope you're hungry,' John remarked, putting spaghetti on each plate.

'Starving,' Anna answered with a smile as John approached her with her meal. 'If this tastes as good as it smells I'm in for a treat.'

'No pressure, then,' John said as he sat down opposite Anna, raising his eyebrows. 'So, Mary's party.'

As they ate, Anna and John discussed the plans they had for Mary's party. Both agreed for the food to be burgers, hot dogs and fries, served in baskets, as well as this John would also offer pancakes and waffles. Anna had already been on to her Uncle to bring in new furniture that tied in with the theme they had chosen, able to get hold of twelve booths for the evening, as well as an old school Jukebox. Anna suggested they make the cake a pink Cadillac, John loving her idea.

He loved to watch Anna so animated as she came up with different ideas for the party. John couldn't help but think working at the restaurant was holding Anna back. She was so creative, he had noticed this in the time he had spent working with her. Anna was always suggesting ways Robert could improve Downton Place, it left him wondering what she could achieve with her own restaurant.

'Tell me, Anna. Have you ever thought about moving into the party planning business?' John asked, standing up and taking their empty plates towards the dishwasher. He rested them on the side. 'You can't want to be a waitress forever.'

'No, I'm happy where I am for the time being.' Anna replied before taking a sip of her wine. 'I know, a woman in her thirties, happy with being a lowly waitress. No ambition.'

'No, I wasn't saying that,' John backtracked, sitting opposite Anna once more. 'You're just bursting with so many ideas. It would be a shame to see them go to waste.'

'When you speak of things going to waste, Chef,' Anna began, leaning towards him across the table. 'I saw in the fridge when you got the wine. It would be shame to let those homemade strawberry tarts I saw go to waste.'

* * *

Dining in the restaurant the next day, it wasn't like Anna to come into work on her day off, especially on a Friday evening. However, it was her parents wedding anniversary and she wanted to treat them to dinner. Richard and Christine had been married for thirty five years and Anna felt that was worth more than a meal. But they had lived a simple life. Anna had been brought up to appreciate spending time with those you loved was all that mattered.

'That was a beautiful meal,' Christine exclaimed as she placed her knife and fork on the plate. 'Are you going to introduce us to the new chef you've told us so much about, Anna?'

'Come on, Darling,' Richard said in his daughter's defence, noticing Anna slightly redden at her mother's suggestion. 'She doesn't have to if she doesn't want to.'

'No, it's fine Dad,' Anna insisted, rising to her feet. 'I'll go and see if John is free for a moment.'

Watching her walk away, Richard turned to his wife. 'You'll only embarrass her, Christine.'

'I'm her mother, that's my job,' Christine explained, clutching her fingers around her husbands. 'She has mentioned this John an awful lot, spoken more enthusiastically about him than any other man for such a long time. Time is ticking by. I'd love to see her settled sooner rather than later.'

Once in the kitchen, Anna noticed John busy at the stove, giving instructions to Daisy who was preparing some desserts. It pained her to interrupt, she waited a few moments before John turned around. He smiled upon seeing her, keeping his eyes on her as he walked to the unit in the middle of the room with a frying pan in hand.

'Anna, how lovely to see you here.' John said, finding a utensil on the side to help him plate the steak that was in the pan he was holding. 'Daisy, you can go for your break, I'll finish those.'

'But I'm nearly done...'

'Please, I insist. The place is hardly busy at the moment, I think we have cleared the backlog once I've added some chips and side salad to this. Just a couple of soup of the days outstanding, I can handle that.'

'Alright chef, see you in twenty.' Daisy took off her apron and hung it on the hook beside Anna. 'Fancy a drink after work tonight, Anna? I finish at eight.'

'Yeah, why not,' Anna smiled, watching as Daisy moved away from her. 'I'll pick you up at 9?'

'Great, catch you later.'

With those words, Daisy left the kitchen. Anna turned to looked at John. 'I had a great time last night.'

'Me too,' John agreed, placing the plate he had filled with chips under the heat lamps for one of the waiting staff to pick up. 'I spoke to Robert today, he loved our ideas. Well, your ideas.'

They both stopped speaking as Jimmy appeared in the kitchen to collect the steak and chips, as well as a lasagne that John had served before Anna had come into the kitchen. Once he had left, Anna responded to John's previous remark.

'It was a joint effort,' Anna insisted. 'John, I hope you don't mind but my parents are here with me today. They'd like to give their compliments to the chef.'

'Your parents?' John asked, looking beyond Anna into the restaurant through the small window in the kitchen door.

'Yes, it's their anniversary today so I thought I'd treat them to dinner,' Anna explained. 'So are you going to come and say hello?'

'But it's your parents Anna,' John said in mock panic, beginning to take off his chef's bandana. 'We haven't even been on a date yet.'

'Haha,' Anna replied, pushing John gently on his shoulder.

Following her out of the kitchen, John smiled politely at each guest he passed before Anna stopped beside her parents table. Richard stood before turning to look at John.

'Dad, this John Bates, the new head chef here. John, this is my father, Richard.'

'Nice to meet you, John,' Richard smiled, shaking John's hand.

'And you, Richard. Or should that be Vicar?'

'No no, Richard is fine.' Richard laughed, letting go of John's hand before gesturing towards Christine. 'This is Christine, my wife and Anna's mother.'

It seemed Christine wasn't going to be as enthusiastic in her greeting to John as Richard had been, Anna furrowing her brow at the sight. Instead of accepting the hand John was offering, Christine remained in her seat, smiling awkwardly.

'Hello John, how are you finding Downton?' Her question was short, her voice disinterested as she studied the desert menu as she spoke.

'It's wonderful,' John replied, confused by Anna's mother cold demeanour. 'I hope you both enjoyed your meals.'

'They were lovely, thank you,' Richard answered, also puzzled at his wife's reaction to John. 'I think we'll be ordering some deserts in a moment.'

'I'd like to congratulate you both on raising such a wonderful, intelligent daughter.' John continued, looking to Anna who met his gaze and smiled. Richard nodded in acknowledgement of John's compliment. Christine watched as John and Anna looked at one another, the look in Anna's eye convincing her mother something must be happening between them. What she had been expecting John to be like, this wasn't it. He was so much older than Anna, definitely not the sort of man she wanted her daughter to form a romantic attachment to. 'I best get back to the kitchen. Lovely to meet you, Richard,' John gently patted Richard's shoulder before looking at Christine once more. 'And you, Mrs Smith.'

Anna's mother offered a weak smile in response before John turned on his heel and strode back towards the kitchen. Anna couldn't believe how discourteous her mother had been to John, especially taking into account how eager she had been to meet him in the first place.

'Darling,' Richard said, sitting down once more. 'What is wrong with you? '

'Whatever do you mean?' Christine shrugged, pointing to the menu in her hand. 'I think I'll go for the fudge cake. Is that good here, Anna? You should know.'

'Mum, forget the cake for a minute. Why were you so rude to John?'

'I wasn't rude.'

'Mum, he offered you his hand and you didn't shake it.'

'Well, he's probably had his hands inside all sort of poultry, stuffing it and what not...'

'Mum,' Anna said impatiently. 'What is the real issue here?'

Christine exhaled deeply, dropping the menu onto the table as she did so. 'As soon as I saw him, I realised he's too old for you.'

'What?' Anna hissed, looking at her father. 'Can you shed some light on this?'

'Your mother seems to think there might be something going on between you and this John,' Richard explained before Anna stopped him.

'That's rubbish. There is nothing going on between us.'

'Oh,' Christine's tone was incredulous as she interrupted her daughter. 'Then why do you speak about him the way in which a woman would do if she was interested in a man? He's old enough to be your father.'

'Not quite Mum, he's only eleven or twelve years older than me,' Anna argued. 'How can I fancy him? I know hardly anything about him.'

'And therein lies my point.' Christine replied. 'Men like that only turn up in new places when they are trying to get away from something. When they want to put their past behind them. Just be careful, my dear.'

* * *

As he read the sports page in the paper William had left on the table as he usually did, John braced himself for working the Saturday night shift. On a Saturday evening, the restaurant was more often than not the first port of call for hen parties, or for birthday parties with guests totalling over ten people. The thing John wasn't looking forward to most was the fact Thomas had been in the kitchen all afternoon with Alfred. He dreaded what he was going to find as he rose to his feet. In recent weeks, due to business booming, Robert had made the decision to begin opening the restaurant all day on a Saturday, much to the chagrin of the staff. John was secretly relieved, it meant no more bowling on a Saturday afternoon.

'Evening chef,' Daisy said cheerfully as she opened her locker. 'Looks like we've got a busy one tonight.'

'Well, I'm glad your on shift with me.' John smiled, sincerity evident in his tone. 'See you in a minute.'

Strolling through the staff quarters John made small talk with Joseph in the corridor about the waiters new car before reaching the door to the restaurant floor. He smiled to see Anna was on shift tonight, perhaps this evening wouldn't be so bad after all. As he entered the kitchen however, John couldn't have prepared himself for the sight before him. As a chef, John had meticulous methods, a certain way he liked to do things. If this was tinkered with in any way, he found it hard to work to the best of his abilities. It had only been a couple of weeks since he had finally got the kitchen arranged the way he liked it. The final straw was to see a grinning Thomas enter the kitchen through the back door, brushing his hands together.

'Good evening, chef. I hope you had a nice day off.'

'What's going on here?' John said, as calmly as he could as Alfred appeared behind Thomas. 'Why has everything been moved?'

'I just felt like giving the place a spruce up,' Thomas replied, still wearing a smug grin which John was growing to detest the more he saw it.

John took a deep breath as he walked further into the kitchen. 'You know I have spent ages recently getting the kitchen how I like it.'

'See, I told you he wouldn't like it,' Alfred remarked, closing the back door behind him. 'Give me an hour and I can have it back to how you had arranged it, Chef.'

'Don't touch a thing, Alfred,' Thomas commanded without losing eye contact with John.

'Alfred, go and find Daisy.' John instructed the young chef. 'She was in the back room. Tell her to give me and Thomas a minute before she comes on shift. You can go home once you've done that.'

'Chef,' Alfred acknowledged John's words before leaving the kitchen.

'I don't know what your problem is. But whatever it may be, you need to get over it.' John walked closer to Thomas, all the time trying to remain as calm as possible, despite the anger bubbling up inside. 'Perhaps when you are a head chef of your own kitchen you can have things how you would like them to be.'

'I would have been head chef here, if you hadn't turned up,' Thomas spat back in response, himself taking a step closer to John. 'There is something about you, something I can't put my finger on. You're hiding something. Something that could most probably damage the life you have been building up here for yourself.'

'Those who need to know about my past, do.' John replied. 'Robert knows. And he has offered me a second chance.'

'That's all well and good, but I've noticed the way you are with Anna.' At the sound of her name, John felt the feelings that were rushing around inside him reach boiling point. His hands were now formed into his fists by his side, his jaw was clenched, his glare intense on Thomas as he waited for him to continue. 'I'm sure you haven't told her about your past. Believe me, I won't stop until I have found out your secret. Goodnight Chef.'

The thought of the friendship he had formed with Anna being under threat made John more angry than he had been in a long time. Running on adrenaline, he waited till Thomas had turned his back on him before pushing him into the wall. Thomas had no defence as he crashed against the brickwork, John holding him there in a firm grip.

John moved his mouth close to Thomas's ear before whispering. 'Don't ever threaten me. Do you understand? Back off.'

John let Thomas go with a final push, stepping back to wait for a response that never came, Thomas instead leaving the kitchen without a backwards glance. Daisy appeared soon afterwards, a confused look spread across her features.

'Is Thomas alright? He left here with a face like thunder.'

'He's fine, let's get to work shall we?'

* * *

Since he had found out Anna was a regular church goer, John made it his mission to pass the church on his Sunday morning walk with Roxy, hoping to catch her. The past few occasions he had been too late, or too early. Roxy would be impatient to wait meaning John would have to walk on. Today however, it seemed he had planned it just right as he noticed Anna walking down the path from the church to the pavement. He waved shyly, Anna's face erupting into a smile as she noticed him. Once she had crossed the road, she bent down to greet Roxy before standing once more.

'This is a nice surprise.' Anna said, brushing a strand of her hair from her eyes.

'We were passing and I saw everyone was leaving so I thought I'd chance my luck and ask if you wanted to join us on our morning constitutionals?'

'I'd love to,' Anna replied with a smile. John nodded and they began to walk. 'Was everything alright last night? Thomas left looking like he was ready to punch someones lights out.'

'Oh, we had a run in,' John answered, shaking his head dismissively. 'He'd rearranged my kitchen and you know what us chef's are like, we like things just so.'

'You see, that's just it,' Anna said through a small laugh, her mother's words from a couple days previously whirring around her mind. 'I don't what this particular chef is like. You. I mean, I know you like action films, you are a whizz at bowling and a great listener. But other than that, I hardly know you.'

'What do you want to know?' John asked, instantly regretting his response. How would it look if he refused to answer any of her questions? Anna still hadn't answered as they turned down a small lane that lead down to the path beside the river that ran through Downton.

'I suppose the obvious choice is what brought you to Downton?' Anna began, chancing a glance up at John's face which remained emotionless. 'What have you left behind?'

'I suppose you wouldn't accept the answer of , it's complicated, would you?' He said with a chuckle, before meeting her eyes with a smirk.

'So there is someone then?' Anna guessed, looking back down at the floor, watching as Roxy trotted along, wagging her tail happily.

'No. There isn't. It's...'

'Complicated.' Anna finished his sentence for him, resulting in them both laughing with each other. 'You don't have to tell me, it's your business, not mine. I'm just curious, that's all.'

'I'm sorry, Anna. After all you have told me, it's complicated is a pretty lame excuse.'

'John, I told you what I did because I wanted you to know. Not because I wanted you to reveal something about yourself in return.' Anna laughed out loud before continuing. 'I've only known you a matter of weeks but I just feel like I could tell you anything, you know? You're certainly different to any other men I have ever come across.'

'I don't know whether to take that as a compliment or not,' John answered awkwardly.

'It's definitely a compliment,' Anna reassured John. 'As you know, I don't have much experience when it comes to men, but most of the ones I have encountered didn't want to know once they learnt how I live my life.'

'Well, they are all fools if you ask me,' John replied candidly before turning slightly more bashful. 'A woman like you deserves to be treated with respect.'

'Thank you,' Anna said before looking at a pub across the river. 'How about a drink? How does Roxy get on with beer gardens?'

'Ahh, buy her a packet of ready salted crisps and she'll be grand.'

* * *

The clock just ticking past eleven, Robert stood at the bar in his restaurant with a satisfied look on his face, surverying the scene before him. Mary's surprise party had been a roaring success, once Matthew had finally got her there. Moaning at having to go into work, thinking it was a pointless quick stop off on the way to a Grease themed night at a club in York, she was taken aback as she walked into the restaurant. It had been completely transformed into a 50's diner, right down to the decor and a jukebox in the corner. Everyone was dressed up, even the kitchen staff had joined in.

Robert smiled as he saw John behind a grill in the corner, dressed in a black t shirt and jeans, his hair slicked back although his leather jacket had long been discarded. The head chef was busy tidying up after a busy night. His food had gone down a treat with the birthday girl, the most important thing being Mary had enjoyed herself. Deciding to approach his friend, Robert crossed the makeshift dance floor, a few couples still dancing to the 50's music the jukebox had to offer.

'Alright mate?' Robert asked as he reached John, moving to stand beside him behind the grill. 'Thanks for tonight, it's gone better than myself and Cora could have imagined. And the cake was inspired, a pink Cadillac. Brilliant.'

'Well, it was Anna's idea,' John replied humbly, looking over at Anna who was sitting in the corner with Gwen, both dressed as Pink Ladies.

'You're too modest,' Robert replied, tapping his friend on the shoulder. 'Myself and Cora are leaving in a minute, just thought I'd come and say goodbye. Edith has said she'll lock up.'

'Okay,' John nodded. 'Goodnight mate, and good luck with getting Cora home and remaining in one piece. Last time I saw her she was flinging William around the room in a rather energetic jive. She certainly seems jolly.'

'Oh God, thanks for the warning. Night.'

Robert disappeared to look for his wife as John turned his attentions back to Anna. The truth was, he hadn't been able to take his eyes off her all evening. She had been the life and soul of the party, only leaving the dance floor for something to eat. The way she moved, the way she laughed, the way she did anything had left John mesmerized. He was trying with every fibre of his being to fight the feelings she stirred within him, but after tonight they were becoming harder to ignore. He felt like a schoolboy with a crush, knowing he had to snap out of it but finding it impossible. John wasn't what Anna needed, he could spend the next hundred years trying to be a better man than he was now and still would never be worthy of her.

Almost on cue, she appeared before him, Gwen seemingly having left in the time it had taken for Anna to cross the dance floor to him.

'Gwen's gone to get the car, bless her for being the designated driver tonight.' Anna said, leaning on the edge of the grill beside him, taking in the sight of all the couples on the dance floor. 'You almost finished here? We could give you a lift.'

'Yeah, I'm almost done,' John answered with a smile, following Anna's line of vision. 'It's certainly quieter now, you were running the floor earlier. Seeing you dance to Reet Petit was a particular highlight.'

'You saw that?' Anna blushed covering her face with her hands.

'Yeah,' John laughed. 'You've certainly got some moves, Miss Smith.'

'Well, I wouldn't say that but thank you anyway,' Anna replied before sighing. 'I was making the most of it, I suppose. I love to dance, but this is the time of the evening where I usually have to sit out. All the men making their moves with a promise of what the night could hold. And then there's little old me who can't offer them anything.'

Her words touched John, he suddenly feeling very sympathetic towards Anna's situation. Deciding in that moment he would give her her last dance, John wiped his hands on a nearby tea towel before stepping out from behind his grill. Anna watched his movements, frowning as she took in the sight of him holding out his hand for her to take.

'Come on, then.' John said, 'before I change my mind. I don't dance usually.'

'What?' Anna asked with a confused element to her tone. 'You want to dance with me?'

John nodded as the opening bars of _Memories Are Made Of This _by Dean Martin began to play. Anna took his hand, John leading her to the middle of the floor as soon as their hands came into contact. Their eyes locked as John's hand found Anna's waist, his other clasping her hand tightly. Moving her slightly closer to him, Anna placed a hand upon his shoulder before they began to shift in time with the music.

She couldn't lie, Anna had been waiting to be this close to John for much longer than she would care to admit. The way he smelt, the feeling of his hand so possessive on her waist, the soft caress of his breath in her ear. It was if they were the only people in the room as John lead her around their small section of the dance floor. Suddenly acknowledging the lyrics, Anna allowed herself a small laugh.

'How ironic a song based around a recipe would get you on the dance floor.'

John chuckled in response to her words. 'To be fair, I asked you to dance before the song began.'

'Still, it's a lovely song,' Anna remarked, staring John right in the eye. 'Beautiful even.'

'It really is,' John agreed, his breathing suddenly more rapid as he met Anna's gaze. 'Beautiful.'

Blood thundering in his ears, John was ignoring all the alarm bells ringing in his head, warning him against his next move. In that moment, all he wanted to do was press his lips to Anna's, to taste her, to be close to her. He was sure time had stood still as he inched closer to her before a voice to the side of them brought John back to his senses.

'Anna, I've brought the car around,' Gwen announced, her voice destroying the moment between John and Anna almost immediately.

'Right,' Anna replied, stepping away from John. 'Okay.'

'I'll wait in the car,' Gwen informed her friend before leaving the restaurant.

John and Anna stood in silence, staring at each other as the song came to an end. John was inwardly cursing himself for letting the moment get the better of him, his life was complicated enough without causing more confusion by kissing Anna. Still, in the moment it had felt right. He would have kissed Anna if Gwen hadn't interrupted. The thought frightened him.

'I should go,' Anna said, breaking the silence. 'Are you coming?'

'I'll walk, if that's okay. I still have some things to do here.'

'Alright, I wouldn't want you to risk Gwen's driving anyway,' Anna laughed, John smiling in response. 'Good night, John.'

'Night Anna.'

As she walked away, it was if Anna had reached a realisation. In those few minutes she had spent in John's arms, everything suddenly made sense to her, being that close to him had confirmed it. Anna was falling for him. John must feel it too, surely? He couldn't look at her the way he did, smile at her in the manner in which he did if he didn't feel the same. But what was he hiding? What was complicated about his situation back in London?

'Come on, Anna,' Gwen yelled from the car as Anna stepped out onto the street.

'Sorry,' Anna apologised, quickening her pace towards the car.

One thing was for sure, she was determined to find out what John had been through. She was certain nothing could change her feelings for him. Nothing.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N- Thanks for all your reviews and favourites, they mean a lot to me. **

**Disclaimer-** Same as chapters 1-3

* * *

'Come on, Chef. Your shift finished twenty minutes ago,' Daisy whined, peering her head around the kitchen door. 'Me, Rose, Joe and Anna will wait by the front doors for you.'

'Alright, send my apologies. I'll be right there,' John replied, not turning around from his task in hand of cleaning the hob he had spilt some 'Soup Of The Day' over.

'I don't know why you don't just let Alfred do that,' Thomas remarked from across the kitchen as he stood leant against the fridge, Alfred rushing around preparing orders. 'He's better at it than you, anyway.'

'Oh, you know me Thomas. I'd hate to think people thought I didn't pull my weight.'

'Go and enjoy you're night off,' Alfred insisted, placing two plates under the heat lamps to be delivered to their table. 'I'll sort that out in a minute.'

'If you're sure,' John sighed, dropping the cloth he was using in the bin. 'I appreciate it, Alf.'

John removed his chef whites and bandana before walking to the exit of the kitchen. He briefly glanced at Thomas, who was offering him a sly glance in return.

'Enjoy your night, chef.'

'I will.'

After changing, John rushed to the front of the restaurant where his colleagues were waiting, huddled together in the coolness of the early spring evening. Joseph had suggested an evening at the cinema earlier that afternoon, inviting just Anna before she insisted Rose and Daisy come too. After a trip to the kitchen, John found himself saying yes as Anna convinced him to join them.

'Sorry, I spilt something and I hate leaving a mess for others,' John apologised as the group began to walk. Consciously allowing Rose, Daisy and Joseph to walk ahead, Anna settled into a steady pace beside John.

'Good day apart from that?' Anna asked.

'Yeah, I'm loving my job at the moment,' John answered before adding. 'I just wish Thomas wasn't so, not quite as much of a...'

'Not so much of an idiot?' Anna offered, John meeting her gaze and smirking. 'Am I close?'

'I'd say you had hit the nail on the head,' John nodded. 'Anyway, enough about me. How are you doing?'

'Yeah, it's much easier now we have Joe and Rose on staff. Means we can actually have nights out like this as a big group.'

'Even though Joseph meant this as a night out just for the two of you?' John raised his eyebrows. Anna's face was a picture as she considered John's remark, looking ahead of them to Joseph who was walking just behind a chattering Daisy and Rose, his hands behind his back.

'He was asking me out on a date?' Anna's tone was hushed, yet incredulous.

John was nodding his head softly, a smile playing upon his lips. 'He came to the kitchen a little while after you asked me to join you all. Seems he's carrying a torch for you.'

'I had no idea,' she admitted, looking to the floor as they turned at the end of the street on which the restaurant was situated., heading for the bus stop around the corner. 'Should I have had? What have I done to make him think that way?'

'The problem is Anna, you don't have to do anything,' John began before exhaling a steady breath. He found her naivety wholly endearing. 'It comes naturally to you. You are a wonderful young woman, kind, intelligent, funny. And, with the risk of sounding terribly old fashioned, any man would be the luckiest of all men to step out with you on his arm.'

'Come on, you two,' Rose shouted at the bus to the cinema made it's approach.

Anna couldn't avert her eyes from John as he looked to the young waitress, acknowledging her remark with a wave. As the bus came to a stop, John turned back to Anna.

'We best catch up,' John said with a smile, pointing towards the others.

He continued on towards the bus. Anna knew she should be following, yet she was rendered motionless by the words John had just used to describe her. No man had ever said such an eloquent, beautiful thing to her in her whole life. The sincerity, the tone to his voice was unlike any she had ever heard.

'Come on, Anna.'

It took Rose almost squealing at her to bring Anna out of her reverie. Looking up to see Rose practically hanging out of the front door of the bus, Anna managed to get the message from her emotion filled brain to her legs to run towards the bus stop.

* * *

Rose trudged into the screen of their chosen film, moaning as she clutched onto her super-sized popcorn about the seating arrangements.

'If a certain chef hadn't spent so long finishing up, we'd have got here in time to have seats together.'

'Well Rose, how will I ever know who you mean if you are so cryptic in your whining,' John replied tongue in cheek, causing the other people in their party to snigger. 'Why don't me and Joe take the two seats towards the back? You girls sit further forwards, so you can drool over the baby faced lead of this romantic comedy I hoped I would never be sitting through.'

'I actually wanted to see this film,' Joseph replied, looking a little hurt at John's suggestion. 'Besides, it doesn't matter where you sit, the view is still the same.'

'I'll sit at the back,' Anna offered, John instantly smiling. 'That way if me and John get restless we won't be disturbing you guys.'

'But Anna, I thought...' Joseph began to protest until Daisy interrupted.

'That's settled then,' Daisy rolled her eyes before passing the two tickets of the seats towards the back in John's direction. 'Enjoy the film.'

John stepped aside, allowing Anna to lead the way. 'Row L. On the aisle.'

Walking in silence, John followed Anna to almost the back of the cinema, row L a couple of rows in front of the back row. Reaching their seats, Anna turned to John, almost dropping her drink in the process.

'Are you okay?' John asked, chuckling a little as Anna regained her composure.

'Yeah,' Anna said non too convincingly, looking up at John with a shy smile. She couldn't reveal to him the real reason she was suddenly feeling nervous, the fact his words from earlier, just before they boarded the bus, were still having a pronounced effect on her. 'I was simply wondering if you would like the aisle seat.'

'Not if you want it,' John replied as he shook his head.

'Don't be silly. With the amount of leg room you get in these places my knees will be up to my chin anyway. You are almost a foot taller than me so God knows where your knees will end up.'

'This is a conversation I didn't think I'd be having today,' John said amusedly, his brow furrowed as Anna shuffled into her seat. 'But thanks for the aisle seat.'

Anna put her drink in the cup holder then opened her bag of sweets. John was transfixed as he watched Anna get settled. He silently questioned if he had found any other woman in his whole life so beguiling as he did Anna, even whilst doing such mundane things as getting comfortable in a cinema.

'Settled?' John asked, his eyebrows raised as Anna's movements stilled.

'Sorry, I'm a bit of a fidget,' Anna admitted, reaching inside her pick and mix bag and pulling out a couple of jelly beans, before meeting John's gaze. 'Sweet?'

'Thanks,' John helped himself, taking a handful before looking out across the cinema. He noticed Rose, Daisy and Joseph were sitting a few rows down to their left, also on the aisle. Rose and Daisy were chatting intently about something, Joseph sitting in the aisle seat gazing up at the ceiling whilst chewing on some popcorn. It was clear Joseph had designs on Anna, John feeling a little guilty at having the woman in question sitting beside him.

'Talking of sweets, it seems Joseph is quite sweet on you,' John said before reaching for his drink set down beside him. He could feel Anna's eyes on him.

'He's very kind, but I can never see myself liking him in that way.'

Inside, Anna was screaming to herself, _'he's not you_, _you're everything he's not_.' She closed her eyes as the voice in her head became harder to ignore. She had to change the subject. Thankfully as she was about to speak once more, the lights went down and the trailers began.

'Now, this is a proper film,' John said enthusiastically, sitting up in his seat as a trailer for some kind of action film began to play.

* * *

Reaching home, as usual being greeted by an enthusiastic Roxy, John picked up a pile of letters that lay on his doormat, flicking through them until a logo came into view, one he recognised as Vera's lawyers. Sighing deeply, he whistled for Roxy to follow him into the kitchen. After topping up Roxy's water bowl before tearing up a piece of ham to feed to her, a result of John's guilt at leaving her for a night out, John sat at the table to read his latest correspondence from Vera. He wondered what new demands she was making, and how absurd they would be this time.

John couldn't believe what he was reading. The house had suffered some structural damage in a recent storm, and John was required to either pay for the repair, or give over his half of the house to fund the work needed. Then Vera would sign the divorce papers. He knew trying to attain a divorce from a woman like Vera wasn't going to be easy, yet he didn't think she would be this awkward. As far as John knew, she wanted the divorce as much as he did.

Part of him just wanted to give in to her demands. be free of her and move on with his life. But there was that stubborn, hateful part of him, which was born out of years married to Vera, that just wouldn't let him give in. Only his wife could bring it out of John, the worst of him. Why should he let Vera have what she wanted, when she wasn't entitled to it? The house was in John's name. The truth of the matter was his mother had bought the house for them. His mother. Not Vera's.

With no reason to speed along the divorce, John was determined to stick to his guns. His terms were they sold the house and split the profits equally, which he felt was more than generous. Vera wouldn't get a penny more.

* * *

As she reached to open her locker, with her back to Ethel, Anna rolled her eyes as Ethel complained about her latest romantic escapade gone wrong. Whenever something didn't work out for her, more often than not it would be anyone else's fault but Ethel's. Having trained herself to now nod in the right places, Anna pulled her mobile phone from her bag and smiled as she read a text message from Gwen.

_A warning. Don't get caught by Ethel. I did as I was leaving, just as she was about to start. Another disastrous date. Call you tomorrow xx_

'Then, when the bill came he looked at me as if he was expecting me to pay. A loser if ever there was one.'

'Right,' Anna replied half heartedly, closing her locker and locking it. As she turned to face her, the alert tone went off on Ethel's phone. 'Okay, he's outside to pick me up.'

'The guy you went out on the date with?' Anna asked as John and Alfred walked into the staff room.

'Oh, the sex was amazing,' Ethel cooed, holding her phone to her chest. 'Worth another visit to his flat, even if the decor leaves a lot to be desired. See you later.'

'I'll never understand how women work,' Alfred remarked, shaking his head as he pulled his coat down from the hooks beside the lockers, Ethel leaving the staff room behind him. Alfred began to follow. 'Night all.'

'Yeah, night Alf,' John said through a chuckle, himself reaching into his locker for his phone. 'Ahh, I need to get some milk. Is there a shop still open around here?'

'The only one I know of is at the top of my road,' Anna replied, putting her coat on.

'That settles it then, mind if I walk you home?'

She could feel the blush that was overtaking her cheeks, praying that John hadn't noticed it himself. Looking over her shoulder at him, she was relieved he was focussed on his phone screen rather than on her.

'Sure,' Anna shrugged, trying her hardest to remain nonchalant.

As usual, between the two of them, conversation wasn't forced or awkward as they walked in a steady pace towards Anna's house.

'She doesn't usually see these men more than two or three times,' Anna revealed, talking about Ethel's love life. 'She's young, and having fun. Not hurting anybody.'

'As long as she's safe I don't see any harm in it,' John agreed. 'I was never like it myself, but we're all different.'

'You must have had some serious relationships, though?'

Anna asked John the question as they crossed the road so they were on the side Anna's house was situated. It took John a while to respond to her question, Anna waiting with baited breath. She was half wishing she hadn't asked the question in the first place, half intrigued to learn about this part of John's life.

'Serious relationships, yes. Regrets, plenty.'

'Have you ever been in love?' John sighed at the enquiry, looking to the heavens, Anna worried she might have upset him. 'Sorry, I had no right to ask that.'

'No, it's fine.' John reassured her, turning his gaze to her with a faint smile on his lips. 'The truth is, I don't know.'

He couldn't tell her he was going through a tough divorce. He feared it would change the relationship they had built up in the couple of months they had known each other, especially when he took into account the way in which Anna lived her life, her beliefs. Anna's friendship had meant so much to him, it was the main catalyst in his settling so quickly in the North. It wasn't that she would mind him being married, it was the fact he hadn't been honest from the start.

'I'll ask you the same question,' John began, breaking the silence that had fallen between them as they reached Anna's house. They turned to face each other before John continued. 'Have you ever been in love?'

This was it. As she gazed into his deep hazel eyes, looking back at her with sincerity making it so obvious to her he actually cared about her answer, Anna knew how she wanted to respond. She had known the man standing in front of her mere weeks at best, yet he made her feel things no man had ever come close to making her feel in the past. They shared a connection that was instant. He made her heartbeat quicken, just the thought of John made her smile. When she wasn't with him, particularly in the past few weeks, she found herself missing him, longing to be in his company. He possessed the most beautiful smile she had ever witnessed.

'You know, if you have been,' John began to speak once more before Anna could answer his question. 'the man in question was a fool to ever let you slip away.'

'There you go again,' Anna said with an awkward laugh, running a hand through her hair.

'What?'

'When you say things like that to me, it makes me realise that the answer to your question is yes. But I had never been in love until I met you.'

John stood motionless, dumbstruck as he took in the words Anna had just revealed to him. He wasn't a fool, he had known something was happening between the two of them yet he hadn't allowed himself to believe it. Anna was deserving of someone twice the man John was. Why, how anyone could fall for him, let alone Anna he couldn't begin to comprehend.

'I've just told you I love you, for goodness sake.' Anna's words, although whispered, were almost desperate as she shifted uncomfortably on her feet. ' Say something, John. Even if it's to let this inexperienced, naive woman down gently.'

'Don't,' John interrupted, raising his hand to stop Anna from talking. 'Don't put yourself down like that. Ever since I came up here, you have been friendly and welcoming of my presence. We got on straight away, I have never met anyone with whom I have had such an instant connection. But...'

'I knew it, you just don't feel the same way.'

'On the contrary, Anna. I have never felt this way about a woman before.' His words were so instinctual, they even surprised John as they fell from his lips. He continued with what he was trying to say, searching for the right words to use. 'My life is so complicated. You deserve so much better than a man like me.'

'How can I?' Anna's voice was breaking as she pleaded with John. 'When there is no better man.'

John couldn't help himself then, reaching for Anna's hand as she held it down beside her. All thoughts of propriety were almost completely banished as he caressed the back of her left hand with the thumb on his right.

'Anna, I...'

John was silenced by Anna's lips upon his, completely taking his breath away. The hair on his neck was standing on end, all in that moment he knew he had never felt such an intense feeling than that of Anna's lips on his. The sound of a car's wheels screeching in the distance made John jump, causing the kiss to be broken as soon as it had begun. Looking beyond Anna to see the car speeding by at the top of road, John then turned his attentions back to her, struggling to get his breathing under control.

'Sorry.'

'Don't ever apologise for that,' John whispered softly. 'I just don't want you to do anything you might regret. There is so much about me you don't know.'

'Well, I'm willing to find out.'

Not being able to stop the smile from spreading across his face, John dropped his gaze to the floor. 'You have a day off tomorrow. Spend it thinking about whether this is what you really want.' John's voice took on extra vigour as he added, 'if _I_ am what you really want.'

''I don't need to.'

'Please Anna,' John insisted, taking her hand in his once more. 'Then we'll talk about how we move forward.'

'Alright,' Anna nodded. 'I will. I guess this is goodnight then.'

'Goodnight Anna,' John replied, letting go of her hand and taking a step away from her.

He stood and watched as she disappeared into her home, gently closing the door behind her. In a way, he was cursing himself for letting what had just happened happen. In another, he was feeling like it was the best thing that had happened to him in years. Anna was the best thing to happen to him in such a long time.

Maybe this was what love felt like.

* * *

'You kissed her?' Robert exclaimed, dragging John into the office as they walked past it. 'What the hell were you thinking?'

'It just felt right,' John shrugged, furrowing his brow slightly in response to Robert's reaction. 'She told me she loves me.'

'She loves you?' Robert hissed, sitting on the edge of the table before exhaling deeply. 'Stone the crows.'

'Is it that hard to believe?'

'Do you love her?' Robert asked, ignoring his friends remark.

John moved further into the room, sitting on one of the chairs as he regarded Robert's question. 'I don't know,' he said rather impatiently before raising a hand to rub his forehead. 'I think so.'

'So Anna knows everything then?' Robert waited for a response from John that wasn't forthcoming, looking to his old friend with a sceptical eye. 'John?'

'She knows nothing,' John replied, resting his elbows on his knees, then his head in his hands. 'How could I tell her?'

'John,' Robert rose to his feet, pacing the floor as he continued to speak. 'She needs to know.'

'Don't you think I know that? I want to tell her, but then the relationship we have will be destroyed.'

'And what if things work out between you and Anna?' Robert supposed, turning to face John once more. 'Don't you think the fact you are already married to someone else might put a spanner in the works?'

'Thanks for stating the obvious, mate.'

'And what about your two years at Her Majesty's pleasure?' Robert carried on .'She'll need to know about that.'

'There is more to that than meets the eye,' John said in his defence as Robert took his place sitting on the desk again.

'All I'm saying is you may have built up a strong relationship, we've all seen it but it can't become something more unless you are completely honest with Anna.'

'I know,' John said weakly, nodding his head. 'It's her day off today. I asked her to think carefully about us. If it's what she wants, I'll have to tell her everything. Then we'll see what happens.'

'She's a good woman, that Anna.' Robert rose to his feet and walked to stand in front of John. 'A mature head on young shoulders. Anyway, I need to be at the bakery in Ripon on fifteen minutes. Call me if you need to.'

'Thanks mate.'

As they left the office, John was taken aback to see Thomas standing outside leaning against the wall, a smug grin on his face. Robert walked straight past him, out into the main restaurant, leaving Thomas and John alone.

'Well, well, well,' Thomas began, a jovial lilt to his tone. 'A convicted felon? That's a turn up for the books.'

'Now, look here,' John began, striding down the corridor towards Thomas.

'I've got something on you now, Chef.' Thomas said, standing up straight to look John in the eye. 'Married, and you've done time.'

'You have no idea what you're talking about.'

'So, what I just heard between you and the boss isn't true?' John's silence spoke volumes before Thomas inched closer to John, his voice barely a whisper. 'I'd hate to see someone like Anna get hurt by your lies.'

'Come off it. You don't care about anyone. Apart from yourself.'

'Perhaps that's so,' Thomas shrugged. 'But you stole my dream job, made my life hell since you started here. Assaulted me even by throwing me against a wall. So it would give me no greater pleasure than ruining your blossoming romance.'

'You won't tell, Anna. You haven't got the guts...'

'Oh, believe me Chef. I've got the guts alright. Next time I see Anna, I will tell her everything.'

With those words, Thomas moved away from John and down the corridor to the staff room. John's breathing was haggard as he lent his head against the wall. He knew he had no choice but to tell Anna himself now. Coming from him would be bad enough, but from Thomas would be disastrous.

* * *

After some supportive words from Robert, John arranged to make dinner for Anna that evening. His friend had made him see if things progressed well with Anna, she would need to find out anyway. Honesty was the best policy, it was better to find out now how Anna would take the news before things got too deep. John knew how she would take the news, though. He knew something about Anna that only a handful of other people knew. Getting involved with a married man with no hopes of a divorce any time soon, taking into account her beliefs and the way she lived her life, would be of no use to her.

Hearing the doorbell ring, the usual routine of Roxy going mad didn't carry the amusement as it usually would. Showing his dog into the living room, John focussed on the task at hand. He was pessimistic, he just couldn't see the evening panning out the way he hoped it would. He'd love for Anna to promise to wait for him, yet how could he ask that of her? His life, the mistakes he had made, were not Anna's fault. She shouldn't have to pay for them. Opening the door, John was rendered speechless by the sight of Anna, looking simply breathtaking in a red dress, her hair down, flowing over her shoulders.

'Good evening,' John managed to choke as Anna crossed the threshold. 'You look beautiful.'

'Thank you,' Anna smiled, waiting for John to lead the way to the kitchen. 'You know, you are spoiling me with all these fancy dinners.'

'Well, if anyone deserves spoiling it's you.'

* * *

Anna had noticed John had been distracted over dinner. He didn't finish his meal, despite usually having a healthy appetite. When Anna spoke, he answered with one word, or just a sound. It wasn't like him, his demeanour concerning Anna. After hardly touching dessert, Anna decided to question him on what was bothering him.

'You've hardly said two words all evening,' Anna remarked, watching as John scraped the rest of his apple crumble in the bin. 'What's the matter?'

John remained silent as he rejoined Anna at the table. Having barely met her gaze all evening, John rose his head to make eye contact with her.

'Look, if you don't want anything to happen between us just be honest with me. You owe me that at least.'

'I do owe you my honesty, you are right there,' John agreed with a nod. 'Look, there is something I need to tell you. I should have told you sooner, but it's taken the step up in our relationship to make me realise that.'

'Go on,' Anna's voice was ominous as she waited for John to reveal what he had been hiding.

'You have always thought I left something behind in London. Well, the truth is I have. I have left behind a past I thought I could just forget, leave where it was.' John took a breath before reaching for Anna's hand across the table. 'But I didn't envisage meeting you. It's been a slow burning relationship, the one that we share. On one hand, because of the choices you have made, which I respect with all my heart. And on the other, rather sub consciously on my part, because of what happened in my past. I don't want to hurt you Anna.'

'You're scaring me now, John. What is it?'

'I'm married, Anna,' John revealed, his voice breaking as he said the words.

'Married?' Anna recoiled in shock, slowly taking her hand away from John's grasp. 'What do you mean?'

'Well, separated, but not divorced. Not yet anyway.'

'But you're still married, in the eyes of the law?'

'Yes,' John nodded slowly, closing his eyes. 'I am going through divorce proceedings now, but they have rather stalled of late.'

'Look, I'm going to need time to get my head around this,' Anna stood up, before John's voice stilled her movements.

'That's not all, Anna.' Almost in slow motion, Anna sat back in her seat, her eyes instantly on John's once more. 'Six months before I came up here, I was released from prison where I had served two years for fraud. There is more to it than that, but the fact is I was imprisoned.'

Anna was in complete shock. The man she thought she knew, the man she had fallen in love with had been hiding the fact he was married with a two year stretch in prison behind him. On top of this, he hadn't been honest with her from the start. She could have seen beyond the secrets of his past if he had been truthful with her from the moment he arrived at Downton. A prison sentence, she could have come to terms with that. A separated man going through divorce proceedings, she would have waited. But now, she wasn't sure what else he had been hiding. What other secrets did he have to tell?

'Anna, please.' She looked up to see a solitary tear rolling down his cheek, his eyes pleading with her. 'Talk to me.'

'To say what?' Anna snapped, struggling to find any sympathy in her heart for the man opposite her. 'I acknowledged you were hiding something but I never knew it would be something this big.'

'If I could go back in time and change it all I would. I would tell you everything. But I can't.'

'It's just words, John,' Anna dismissed his excuses, shaking her head as her own tears began to fall. 'I've never felt this way about any man before. But I'm not sure that's the case anymore, because you aren't the man I thought you were.'

'I am. I am the same man you met because prison changed me. I am a new man because of what I experienced.'

'You are a married man,' Anna replied, this time rising to her feet. 'I don't even care that you went to prison. I can look past that. I just can't get involved with a married man, no matter what my heart is telling me to do. I'm sorry John. I'll see myself out.'

John got up to follow Anna before realising it was fruitless as he heard the front door slam. Standing in the doorway of the kitchen, he stared at the front door, making no attempt to stop the tears falling from his eyes. He had blown it, broken the heart of the one person who had given his life any sort of meaning since he had left prison. Then, as if on cue, Roxy wandered out of living room carrying her spongy ball in her mouth and dropping it by John's feet. She then preceded to lean her front paws on John's knees, whining a little as she did so. In the next moment, he felt himself sliding down the doorframe of the kitchen, taking his little Jack Russell into his embrace.

'Your Daddy has been an idiot Roxy,' he said out loud, scratching her behind her ears. 'And is now getting all he deserves.'

* * *

**A/N 2- It's going to get worse before it gets better. I hope you all stick with this story. There is lots more to come :) **


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N- Here I take advantage of my own useful plot device. **

**Disclaimer-** Downton Abbey and it's characters do not belong to me. Everything remains the property of ITV, Carnival and Julian Fellowes.

* * *

Weeks passed since that evening, John's new found hope for his future diminishing with each snub Anna gave him. Meeting her gaze, she would look away. Trying to strike up a conversation, she would change the subject to something work related. There were no little smiles anymore, no passion filled glances across a crowded room. It broke John's heart. He was miserable, existing from day to day inwardly cursing himself for not being open with Anna from the start.

Despite her obvious coldness as discovering the truth to his situation, Anna was just as down as the head chef. A woman in her position, a woman who lived her life as she did, found it difficult to form a proper relationship with a man, let alone find one who understood and respected her beliefs. She thought she had found that person in John, but he had let her down in a different way. Maybe she was overreacting, they had hardly even shared a date, she had no proper claim on him but he had lied about his past. Anna had felt comfortable enough, trusted John enough to reveal the most deepest secret about herself. He couldn't even afford her his truth in return, until she had fallen in love with him. Their relationship had started on a lie. In Anna's eyes, the only way it could go was down.

On top of this, Anna's mother was keen for her to settle down. Here she was still living with her parents, no romantic prospects on the horizon in the same job she had when she came home from university. Her mother, who was extremely opinionated as any mother would be on her daughter's love life, would often remind Anna of the life her younger brother had carved out for himself. Her father, however had a soft spot for Anna, viewing her life through rose tinted glasses. Anna had always been a Daddy's girl.

One of the perks of being in charge of the rota's, was that Anna could put herself and John on different shifts. Usually, the first thing she would do was make sure at least twice a week, she and John were on staff together. Now, it was the last thing she wanted, to avoid any awkward moments. She just didn't know what to say to him, how to act.

Tonight, was one of those nights where Anna and John were not working together. Whilst John was at Downton Place, slaving away in the kitchen, Anna was preparing herself for going over to Gwen's for a DVD night. As she walked down the stairs, she was halted in her steps by a heated conversation coming from the kitchen.

'I don't mind Anna living with us,' Richard argued, Christine's sigh in response audible to Anna from the stairs. She carried on down the hallway and into the kitchen as Richard continued with what he was trying to say. 'I'd rather she was happy than rushed into something she didn't want because she felt like she should be married by now. It was a brave choice she made.'

'Evening parents,' Anna announced her arrival, placing her bag on the kitchen table. 'I'm out late tonight so don't wait up.'

'Oh, do you have a date?' Christine said hopefully, moving her attention from the salad she was preparing to Anna.

'No, I am going to see Gwen.'

'Oh,' Christine said disappointedly, returning to her task of preparing dinner. 'Maybe you shouldn't have wasted your time on pursuing that chef all these weeks.'

'Christine,' Richard scolded, inhaling deeply before looking to Anna. 'Have a nice evening, sweetheart.'

'Thanks Dad. I'll be late so don't wait up.'

Richard nodded with a smile. 'I'll leave the hallway light on for you.'

* * *

As she made the short walk around to Gwen's, Anna contemplated her mother's point of view. Anna was into her thirties now and she really couldn't see where a potential husband was coming from. John was a glimmer of hope, a spark of light in the darkness that was Anna's every growing belief she would be alone for the rest of her life. She did miss him, the conversations they shared, the way he made her feel with a simple glance. The thought he was still married made her heart sink. Yes, the marriage was dead but he was still a married man. In the eyes of God, it was wrong. Being in love with him was wrong. Yet, her feelings for John couldn't be denied, they hadn't left her. They were just accompanied by those of disappointment, despair, a result of his dishonesty. If she had known about his being a convicted felon going through divorce proceedings from the beginning, she wouldn't have allowed herself to get in so deep. She laughed a little at that thought, even though she now knew everything about him and had done what she thought was right, her heart still ached for him.

'Anna!'

Brought out of her silent contemplation by a familiar male voice, Anna looked to her left to see Robert calling her from the opposite side of the road. He was standing outside one of his bakeries, dressed in his chef's whites covered in flour. Anna knew Robert was more hands on in the bakeries than the restaurant, but this was ridiculous. Crossing the road, Anna smiled as she moved nearer to her boss.

'Tough day in the kitchen?' Anna asked with a laugh.

'Very funny, can I have a word?'

'Alright,' Anna replied, furrowing her brow. She followed him into the bakery, stopping to watch as he locked the door behind them. 'What's happened?'

'Oh, the head baker had to go to hospital, a bread slicer incident. Had the apprentice baker spending the whole afternoon looking for the tips of the guys fingers. So I had to step in.'

'Nice,' Anna grimaced, looking back behind the counter to the bread slicer.

'Oh, these things happen. But, I don't want to talk to you about that.' Robert gestured for Anna to sit down at the small table in the corner of the shop. 'How are you?'

'I'm alright,' Anna shrugged, slightly confused as to where this conversation was going.

'Look, tell me if I am speaking out of turn, but I am worried about you,' Robert continued, clasping his hands together on the table in front of him before adding, 'and John.' Robert felt Anna's demeanour grow slightly agitated as he mentioned John's name. 'I don't know what happened entirely, but I do know you are aware of his... well his situation so to speak.'

'The fact he lied about being married and a former prisoner, you mean?'

'He hardly lied, Anna.' Robert said in his friends defence. 'He just didn't tell anyone about it.'

'Yeah, well. He wasn't honest about himself from the start. I gave him plenty of opportunities to tell me about what had happened. '

'Look at it from John's point of view, he came up here trying to start a new life. He didn't count on meeting you so soon.' On seeing Anna dismiss his words with a shake of her head, Robert sat back in his chair, folding his arms in front of him. 'I'm going to tell you something about John now.'

'There's more?' Anna replied incredulously, a cynical chuckle following her exclamation.

'He went to prison for his wife.' Silence fell as Robert's revelation resonated around the room. Anna met Robert's gaze, he recognising she was struggling to understand. 'His marriage was a train wreck from almost the very beginning. John was living his dream, Vera wasn't supportive of him at all.'

'Vera?'

'Vera was his wife,' Robert replied.

'You mean is his wife.' Anna was quick to correct him.

'By law, yes she is but not in any other sense of the word. She is an adulterer, she abused him mentally, turned John into a drunkard, but John being John blamed his pursuit of his career for the marriage breaking down. '

'So why did he go to prison?'

'John was working in a high end London restaurant, working six nights a week. He would be left to lock up most evenings. Vera would occasionally turn up to walk home with John. He never understood why, but to keep the peace he never questioned it. Until it was discovered the books were down by a number of thousand pounds. Vera had been stealing whilst she waited for John to finish his shift. It had been going on for months.'

'I don't get it,' Anna frowned. 'John took the blame for her?'

'Yes.' Robert nodded.

'But why?'

'Like I said, he blamed himself and putting his job before their marriage for the way things had turned out. He felt like going to prison for her would put write some of the wrongs. She didn't visit him once in prison. In his two years away John got himself sober and decided he needed to break free of her. The first thing he did upon his release was start divorce proceedings.'

'Why is it taking so long?' Anna wondered out loud, inwardly relieved there was more to John's situation than initially met the eye.

'I don't know Vera, not well anyway but she seems a vindictive, cold hearted woman.' Robert answered, glad Anna seemed to have softened slightly, almost sympathetic to John's situation. 'When they moved to London, John's mother bought them a house. It's in John's name but Vera wants all of the proceeds from it's sale. John is refusing.'

'I don't blame him,' Anna replied.

'Look, I'm not asking you to accept him back with open arms,' Robert began, leaning forward on the table, 'but at least be civil to him. It's breaking his heart that you won't even talk to him about things other than work.'

'I best be getting to Gwen's,' Anna smiled weakly, looking at her watch as she rose to her feet. 'Thank you, Robert.'

* * *

Anna walked through the front door, briefly smiling as she acknowledged her Dad had done as he promised, left the hallway light on. She hadn't been able to concentrate on the film at all, nor Gwen's conversation. Her thoughts were full of John ever since her meeting with Robert. As she placed her foot on the bottom stair, Anna's attention was caught by light emanating from underneath the kitchen door. Wanting to investigate further, Anna tiptoed down the hallway, opening the kitchen door as quietly as she could.

'How many r's in embarrassed?' Her father asked upon noticing her arrival.

'Two. why?'

'Just this week's sermon.' Richard shrugged, removing his glasses. 'Good night?'

'Hmm, it was alright,' Anna's tone was indifferent as she switched the kettle on to boil.

'Anna, what's wrong?' Richard stood up and moved to stand beside his daughter. 'You haven't been yourself for a while.'

'I'm fine,' Anna replied without missing a beat, reaching into the cupboard for a mug. She turned her head to meet her father's disbelieving gaze, something in his eyes made her lose a bit of her resolve. 'Oh Dad, what a mess.'

'Come and talk to me,' Richard insisted, placing an arm around Anna's shoulders and guiding her towards the kitchen table. 'Is this about John?'

'I've never felt this way before, Dad,' Anna replied, touching a hand to her forehead as she sat down. 'It's like I'm ill.'

'You're in love with him, then?'

Anna nodded. 'But I can't be with a married man, you know that more than most, Dad.'

'Sweetheart, I may be a Vicar but I am not so naive that I don't recognise when the world around me is changing. You made a choice that myself and your mother respect you for, we are proud of you sweetheart.'

'Even though mum thinks I should be married and moved out by now.'

'She has your best interests at heart, believe it or not,' Richard replied. 'Is this John not getting a divorce? Can you not wait and see what happens?'

'I spoke to Robert tonight. He said John's wife is taking him for all he is worth, John isn't budging. And you can't blame him really.'

'No,' Richard reasoned. 'But that doesn't help my little girl having a broken heart, does it?'

'It would be just the way my life goes that the first man I believe could actually be the one, accepting of the way in which I live my life, is a married man.'

Richard laughed a little at his daughter's remark, meeting her eyes and instantly feeling relieved as Anna began to chuckle a little as well.

'The only advice I can give you, love, is to get out there. Meet people. You met one man who understands you, there must be someone else out there.'

'Right Dad,' Anna stood up upon hearing the kettle stop boiling. 'A man my age who would be willing to wait for sex until marriage. Maybe I should just accept it's never going to happen and relax my rules a bit.'

'No Anna,' Richard's tone was harsh as he looked back over his shoulder at her. ' That isn't the answer. You know deep down you don't want to do that. You made the decision to remain a virgin until marriage for a reason and I believe you will regret it if you give in now. You just haven't met the right man yet. You're getting closer, just hang in there.'

'He went to prison for his wife as well,' Anna blurted out, pouring the hot water into her mug. 'He took the blame for her crimes.'

'Wow, that is a mess.'

'Yeah,' Anna sighed as she stirred her tea. 'It's a relief to know although he is a convicted man, he never actually committed a crime.'

'We can't help who we fall in love with.'

'No, we can't.' Anna turned to look at her father once more, her hands clasped around the mug. 'But I can't be with him, Dad. Not now. I confided in him, he couldn't afford me the same and tell me about his secret. I'm not sure I could ever trust him again.'

'If that's how you feel, then that's how you feel,' Richard stood up, moving to Anna and kissing her on the forehead. 'Ever since you were a little girl you have stuck to your guns. I don't expect anything different now. Goodnight sweetheart.'

* * *

John wandered down the corridor to the entrance to the restaurant, eyes trained straight ahead until he was distracted by Robert stepping out of his office. Their eyes met, Robert gesturing for John to join him in his office. John did as he was instructed before turning around and feeling confused as to why Robert was closing the door behind them.

'What's up?' John asked.

'Anna knows the real reason why you went to prison. I told her last night.'

'What? Why?' John was clearly agitated as he placed his hands on his hips.

'Because I am sick of the two of you going about your business looking like you are about to burst into tears. I have changed the rota so Anna is on the same shift today. I want you to talk to her.'

'And say what? She's made her decision. Besides, we can't really be together whilst I am still married. Not properly anyway.' As soon as the words were out of his mouth, John regretted them. 'Forget I said that.'

'What do you mean?'

'Look, it's nothing. Just accept that this is the way that things must be between me and Anna and that's that.'

A knock on the door caused both men to look up and see Anna appear at the door. 'Oh, sorry.'

'No Anna, stay. I'll go and set up the kitchen, John needs to talk to you.'

'No I don't.'

Robert placed a hand on John's chest, stilling his movements before walking towards the door. Looking at John, before averting his gaze to Anna, Robert left the room leaving John and Anna properly alone for the first time in weeks.

'Look Anna...'

'John, I...'

They both tried to break the silence at the same time, John then motioning for Anna to speak first.

'John, I have had time to get to grips with your situation. I know the truth behind your imprisonment.' She stopped speaking, finding it difficult to articulate what she was trying to say, sighing a little before closing her eyes. 'Despite what my heart is telling me, I just can't get involved with a married man.'

'I won't ask you to wait for me, Anna,' John replied weakly, sitting on the edge of the desk. 'As far as I can see a divorce is not happening any time soon and you do not owe me anything. All I ask is that we don't let this ruin the friendship we have built up between each other. If you take away the fact we wanted to take things further, underneath it all is a solid friendship. You have to admit that.'

'Your friendship means the world to me.'

'As does yours to me.' John smiled. 'So can we just hold on to that? I would give anything for the situation to be different, but it is what it is. I respect you for the decisions you have made, I'm just sorry we have to suffer as a result of my mistakes. If I can only have you in my life as a friend, then I want that.'

'I want that too.'

'And I'm sorry that I wasn't honest from the start. Really, I am.'

'It's okay,' Anna breathed, brushing a strand of hair from her eyes.

John held his hand out in front of him, Anna looking down at it. 'Friends?'

Gazing back at him with her tongue in her cheek, a smirk on her face Anna clasped her hand around John's.

'Friends.'

* * *

A night out on the town was just what she didn't fancy on her evening off, but thanks to her persuasive friends, a night out on the town was where she was. Anna sat in the corner of the club, wishing she could be anywhere but here. Gwen and Ethel were the life and soul on the dance floor, leading everyone in a rendition of _Ride On Time. _Despite her friends protests, Anna chose to remain at their table and sip on her drink. Although the situation between herself and John had improved, she still felt like something was missing. They were speaking again now, she laughed to herself as she remembered something he had said that afternoon but he was, on the most part, more reserved than he had been before. It just wasn't the same.

'Anna? Anna Smith?' Anna lifted her eyes to see a man standing before her. He was looking at her as if he knew her, and as if Anna should know him. He was just over six feet tall, short brown hair and possessed the brightest blue eyes Anna had ever seen. Suddenly, something clicked in her mind. A memory was coming to the fore, a vision of sitting in a classroom with a cheeky teenaged boy. The man placed a hand on his chest. 'It's Anthony. Anthony Barkley.'

'Oh my God, Anthony,' Anna exclaimed, rising to her feet and greeting him with an enthusiastic handshake. 'How are you? I can't believe I didn't recognise you.'

'Well, it's been nearly fifteen years since we last saw each other. I'm very well, you?'

It was all coming back to her now. Anthony Barkley had been Anna's first love, if you can call it that at their age. They were in the same science class in their last year at school, sitting next to each other at the back of the room, usually Anthony having not done his homework and hastily copying Anna's. He was a joker, Anna remembering they shared a lot of laughs. A friendship blossomed into something more and they would more often than not spend their weekends in each other's company, amongst a larger group of friends. It all ended when they went to different colleges, but Anna looked back on the last year of her school life and Anthony's involvement in it fondly. She had shared her first kiss with him and Anthony was the person who had introduced Anna to that side of life.

'Do you mind if I join you?' Anthony asked, pointing at an empty chair next to Anna. Anna nodded her head, staring at Anthony intently as he sat down. 'So, what have you been up to?'

'Well, I went to university to study English literature.'

'So let me guess,' Anthony replied enthusiastically. 'You're an English teacher now.'

'Nope.'

'An actress?'

'Wrong again. Believe it or not I went to University, attained a degree and now I am head waitress in a restaurant.'

'Wow,' Anthony raised his eyebrows before teasing, 'at least you are head waitress, I suppose.'

'Hey,' Anna nudged him lightly. It was as if she had been transported back to her teenage years in a matter of moments. 'And what about you?'

'I suppose you wouldn't believe me if I said I was a millionaire footballer?'

'Afraid not,' Anna shook her head.

'Didn't think so,' Anthony sighed. 'Well, I too went to University but to study chemistry, got my degree, came home and got a job in a supermarket until something better came along.'

'And did it?'

'I'm now said manager of that supermarket so the answer would be no,' Anthony replied with a chuckle. 'But the pay is good and I get weekends off to play football and get out and meet beautiful women like yourself.'

'You flatter me,' Anna blushed, surprised to feel her heart beat a little faster at his words.

'God Anna, you haven't changed a bit,' Anthony gushed, his gaze intense upon her as her face continued to redden. 'You were always the most beautiful girl in school. All the lads thought so.'

'Really?' Anna was surprised at his remark, memories of the popular girls at school filled her mind, one of which Anna never was. 'I thought Sarah Harris was the one to be seen with on your arm.'

'Not to me, or the guys I used to hang out with. You were clever, smart and pretty.'

'Well, thank you,' Anna smiled although feeling slightly off her stride upon hearing Anthony's glowing praise. 'It's always nice to be complimented.'

'Well, would you allow me to say that not only were you the most beautiful girl in school, I look around this club tonight and I'd say every other woman pales in comparison to you.'

'I wouldn't let my friends hear you say that,' Anna replied, pointing at Gwen and Ethel on the dance floor. 'The two redheads are my friends and one of them in particular would try very hard to change your mind.'

'Well, her attempts would be futile. Now, are you going to let me buy you a drink?'

* * *

Anthony had invited Anna to leave the club and join him for some dinner. With encouragement from her friends, Anna agreed. It had done Anna the world of good to bump into him, reminding her of a time in her life when she was truly happy. When they dated, Anthony had made her feel like a princess, she did miss him when they went their separate ways. Maybe this was just what she needed, to meet different people like her father had suggested. Anthony was charm personified over dinner. They had been so close at school, it was if they had never been apart at all as they chatted the evening away. Usually on dates, the men she was with would have made some crass remark that would make Anna doubt their intentions. But Anthony had been different.

'So, there is no one special in your life then, Anna?'

_'Oh, here we go_.' Anna thought to herself. 'No, no one special.' She thought of John as the words slipped from her mouth.

'That surprises me,' Anthony replied, tearing a piece from his garlic bread. 'I'd be sure you'd have a series of admirers.'

'Well I don't,' Anna shrugged, taking a sip of her wine before focussing her gaze on Anthony. 'What about you?'

'No, I'm free and single,' Anthony replied through a mouthful of garlic bread. He looked up at Anna, a lock of hair falling upon his forehead as he did so. Anna observed he really did have the most beautiful eyes, she had never appreciated how much so the first time she knew him. 'I had my heart broken in my mid twenties. Since then, I've found it hard to form relationships with women.'

'I'm sorry to hear that. I have the same trouble with men, although for an entirely different reason.'

She knew her remark would result in questions from Anthony, but the truth was she was getting much too old now to beat around the bush. Better to know if someone was interested in her for her, rather than a cheap night together.

'How so?'

Anna took a deep breath, another sip from her wine before placing her glass on the table. Making sure she had Anthony's undivided attention, she admitted to him the truth that usually made a lot of men she had dated make their excuses and run a mile.

' I am still a virgin.' Anna revealed with a whisper, shifting uncomfortably in her chair as she let her words settle in the air for a moment. Realising Anthony was waiting for Anna to speak again she continued. 'I have decided I want to save myself for the man I marry. You remember my Dad is a Vicar, and I am a believer, I still go to church every week. It's a choice I made before I ever started going out with you the first time. I guess because of our age and the upbringings we had, it was never an issue for us back then.'

'Blimey,' Anthony remarked, putting some more garlic bread in his mouth and beginning to chew slowly. 'So you've never...'

'Nope.'

'Not even come close?'

'Nope.' Anna shook her head. 'I just figure the man who is worth it will accept how I am and be patient and wait for me.' She looked down, her demeanour suddenly turning slightly despondent. 'I haven't found him yet.'

'Well, it's nice to meet a lady who has some self respect.'

'Are you serious?'

Anna couldn't believe her ears, whatever his response may have been, Anna wasn't expecting that. Maybe she had judged the man sitting in front of her too hastily. He came across as a Jack the lad in the club, a man adept at charming a woman into bed. He seemed genuine enough as he let Anna's confession sink in for a moment.

'I am,' Anthony reassured Anna, nodding his head. 'It was lovely bumping into you tonight. We had a good time in school. We used to have a laugh and I thought about you a lot after we left for college.'

'We did have a good time,' Anna agreed with a small giggle, Anthony reciprocating her laughter.

'Although your situation dictates it, I think it would be refreshing to get to know a woman without the added pressures the physical side of a relationship brings. Does that make me sound terribly old fashioned?'

'On the contrary, it is a refreshing attitude to have. One that is extremely rare in the men I have dated in the past.'

'Well, they were all idiots.' Anthony's remark caused Anna to laugh once more. He looked over at her plate, noticing she hadn't eaten all her chips. 'Can I finish those?'

'Go for it.'

* * *

Walking into the staff room at work, Anna hadn't been able to keep the grin off her face that had been there since her date the previous evening. Anthony had been a breath of fresh air, such a wonderful guy and his acceptance of her beliefs had endeared Anna to him more. As she thought about him, the more and more she felt the old attraction coming back. She had fancied him back in school, he was a cute boy but equally, he had grown into an extremely handsome man. But there was one nagging doubt in her mind. One thing that was missing.

He wasn't John.

Opening her locker, Anna took her bag off her shoulder and placed it inside, checking her phone quickly to check she had received no messages in the time it had taken her to get to work.

'Well?' Anna turned to see Gwen walking into the staff room, her face beaming. 'How did it go with the dreamboat?'

'Not bad,' Anna replied with a smirk. 'He wants to go out again.'

'A second date, hallelujah,' Gwen exclaimed, fist pumping the air. She watched as Anna took a seat at the table, noticing Anna wasn't sharing her enthusiasm. 'What? Isn't a second date a good thing?'

'Yes, it is,' Anna answered sincerely, 'I haven't answered yet but I probably will go out with Anthony again. It's just...' Anna huffed before running a hand through her hair. 'It's just...'

'Anna, you can tell me. It's me, Gwen. Your best friend.'

'Okay, it's just he's not John.'

'Oh Anna,' Gwen said sympathetically, sitting across from her at the table and placing a hand upon hers.

'Anthony was accepting of my beliefs, he was so lovely on our date. He's gorgeous, he makes me laugh.'

'God Anna, if you don't want him can I have a go?' Gwen joked, relieved to see Anna laugh as well.

'I can see myself dating him for a while but what then? Can I see myself marrying him?' Anna looked beyond Gwen as she pondered. Ever since she had met him, when she thought of marrying it was only ever John she imagined getting married to. He had invaded her heart, soul and mind that much. To envisage that scenario with someone else made her heart sink. 'Anyone else other than John will always be second best. He's making me question everything I have ever believed. I even suggested to my father, of all people, that I overlook what I believe for John. He made me see that wasn't the answer.'

'Good, you'll only regret that, Anna.' Gwen replied understandably. 'John is getting a divorce, though?'

'I don't know. His wife is being difficult about it. He won't back down on what he believes is right, who would I be to judge him for that?' Anna sighed once more. 'And mum is on at me all the time to find a man to marry.'

'Then there's only one answer.' Gwen began, going to Anna's still open locker and pulling out her phone. 'Text Anthony and finalise that date. See where things go. You certainly seem like you had a good time last night. Not everyone experiences that thunderbolt, that love at first sight. Love can develop over time. Give Anthony a chance.'

'Chef,' Alfred said, announcing his arrival in the kitchen. 'You get off home, have a nice evening off. I'll finish off that order.'

'Oh, thank you Alf,' John said in gratitude, relieved a particularly busy afternoon shift was coming to a close.

* * *

It had been a few weeks since he and Anna had decided to remain friends. Her mood had certainly brightened and John was glad of that. He, however, was putting on an act in public. Inside, he was in despair. Anna and their inability to be together properly made his nights darker and shadowed his days. It had taken all his resolve to resist leaving his troubles at the bottom of a bottle. A divorce from Vera was still no closer. Sometimes he wondered if putting up a fight was worth it. In quieter, more reflective moments he thought about just giving in to what Vera wanted, obtaining his divorce and pursuing Anna in a manner that befitted a woman like her. Dinner dates, flowers, everything that went along with courting a lady like he was sure his ancestors had done in the past. The old fashioned way. Anna deserved being wooed properly.

As he entered the staff room, John felt his heart skip a beat as he saw Anna sitting at the table, tapping away on her mobile phone. Has face was positively beaming as she typed, John intrigued as to why she was so happy. Still, Anna was under no obligation to reveal anything to him, so he just moved to his locker in silence, opening it and reaching for his belongings.

'Hello John,' Anna said cheerfully, looking up at him from the table.

'Anna,' John replied as he closed his locker. 'How are you?'

'Good,' Anna said without missing a beat. 'Really good, actually. John, would you mind taking a seat for a moment. I want to tell you something.'

'Alright,' John frowned before sitting opposite Anna. 'What is it?'

'Well, there is no easy way to say this so I am just going to come out and say it,' Anna began. 'For the past few weeks, I have been dating someone. A guy I used to go to school with. We met in a club and we have been out a few times since.'

'Oh, right.' John felt as if his world was falling apart around him as he let Anna's words resound in his head for a moment. He realised Anna was waiting for him to say something further. 'Are you happy with him?'

'I am,' Anna answered truthfully. 'He's a lovely bloke and we get on really well.'

'And he, he, well you know...'

Anna knew what John was trying to ask. 'Yes, he knows about my beliefs and is supportive of them.'

'Well, I'm happy for you Anna,' John's voice, although sincere, was almost a whisper, fearing he would break down if he spoke any louder.

'Oh, right.' Anna was surprised at his reaction, a little hurt even. She had no right to be, but she supposed in her mind John might have put up a little bit of a fight for her. But nothing. Perhaps he wasn't interested in her anymore. 'Well, I just thought I would be the first to tell you. You know, before anyone else did.'

'Well, I appreciate that Anna. I really do.' John rose to his feet then, looking down at her, gathering all the strength he could to offer her a smile. 'I'll see you tomorrow. We are on the same shift.'

'Erm, yes,' Anna replied, lifting her head to look at him. 'See you tomorrow.'

With those words, John walked out of the room. So that was that. He knew, and by all accounts he was happy Anna was moving on. Maybe it was finally time to realise she and John were never going to be, to put all of her efforts in making things work with Anthony. It was the least she owed herself. If the man she truly loved didn't want her, at least a man who treated Anna with the utmost respect, a man whom company she enjoyed, was a close second.

For her to be true to her beliefs, maybe it was time for Anna to accept second best had to be good enough.


End file.
